Every good woman deserves a fabulous hair treatment once in a while. This good woman had exactly that earlier this week after a prolonged dry spell. For there comes a point in time when an ever expanding regrowth just needs to be dealt with and the good woman needs to catch up on her magazine reading. For some unknown reason this good woman only ever reads print magazines at the hairdressers or in doctor’s offices.

The trip to the hairdressers prompted me to think about books because of course any trip by a normal person to the hairdressers would. Books made me think about Fifty Shades of Grey because the Fifty Shades trilogy seems to have taken over the universe. It is everywhere, at least in these parts, and I see also on the NY Times bestseller list. In my mind and on that day, hairdressers and Fifty Shades Of Grey were braided together because it is a book title that begs to be word-played with.

For your entertainment pleasure, I present to you my list of recently created cracked book titles. All of these are based on books that are currently on the NY Times best seller lists and inspired by my hairdressing trip.

Perspectives on Hairdressing: Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Yards of Foil  – ammonia free and gets to the very roots of the industry. Offers a rare top of the head perspective on all things hairdressing, free scalp massage included.

Perspectives on Blind Installation: Fifty Shades Darker with Wooden Slats – a story full off hangups. Pull up a chair and drape yourself in the inside story on shutters versus blinds, wooden versus aluminium. Come, darken your world.

From The Magic of the Electric Eel to Fifty Shades Freed: Highlights of a Plumbing Career  – Marvel at the electric eel and its flexibility to fit around your S bend. Admire the men and women who plumb your depths and never leave home without a plunger. Free can of room freshener provided with every copy.

A Game of Thrones: The Diamond Jubilee and Beyond. Based on the book,  A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. Self explanatory and I thank Her Majesty in advance for the long weekend we are about to receive in honour of her not-real birthday.

Memoirs of a Teacher in the New Millenium: A Dance with Parental Dragons and Wizards. Based on the book, A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martins and the sequel, In the Garden With Beasts And Sporting Parents, based on In the Garden with Beasts by Eric Larson. We have all seen this sort of unruly behaviour at schools and school sporting fixtures. Get the inside scoop on how to deal with parents behaving badly.

Vision in White: Memoirs of Waiting Patients Who Made An Appointment. Based on the book Vision in White by Nora Roberts. 1,000 pages of easily digestible memoirs that can be devoured in one sitting whilst you wait to see your doctor for that scheduled appointment.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet: Tales From a Teenage Crash Pad,  Fondly Known as The Parental’s Home. Based on the book, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. Both perspectives are covered in this one authoritative volume. The author gains real insight into the teenage mind…. prepare to be dazzled and waited on and get your laundry done. On the other hand, be prepared to be bemused as you see only the back of your teenage child as he races out the door. Learn to recognise the signs that your teenage child actually spent some time at home… the empty fridge, the laundry over the floor and crumbs on the kitchen bench… bitter and sweet in one entertaining package.

This is what happens when I go to the hairdresser…. you have now been warned. Any writers out there who are struggling to come up with book titles, I’m free most weeknights…

Do you have any other cracked book titles you wish to add to the list? What do you look forward to about a trip to the hairdresser? Do you have hair or do you miss it?