A Pre Apocolyptic Public Service Anouncement To All But The Kiwis

I have always been proud to be an Australian. Being an Aussie is seriously cool, people swoon at our accent, they love our laid back attitude and envy our natural surroundings.

Australia timezoneWhat they don’t envy though is our time zone. Our time zone is seriously unforgiving, particularly if you want to do business or socialize with Europe or the East Coast of the United States. Even more so if you want to be awake, astute and passably witty whilst carrying out your obligation to your employer to turn up during local business hours. And by that I mean turn up not only in body, but also in soul and mind.

We are also slightly confused because at present there are four timezones operating in our wonderful nation. The refusal to operate under daylight savings times by some States introduces a fourth time zone for the summer months. Don’t worry Queenslanders, your curtains and cows are still safe, experiencing less daylight hours than everyone else. Don’t forget the SPF 55 sunblock!

However, there are also a few advantages that come with that timezone.

We are amongst the leaders of the pack when it comes to experiencing worldwide events that are tied to a fixed universal time. New Year’s Eve, we’re one of the first to click over. Christmas, we’ve unwrapped, stuffed ourselves and ho, ho hoed long before most of you guys have even gone to bed for your Christmas Eve slumber.

We are at the forefront of time zonage to pretty much all other countries other than New Zealand and a few Pacific island nations.

tomorrow in australia pic

So to all my international readers who are still in yesterday this is my pre apoclyptic public service announcement to you.

It is now roughly 9am, 21 December 2012, eastern daylight saving time. There are no Mayans or Mayan spirits to be seen. The second last page of the Mayan calendar has been ripped off its hinges and discarded, actually no, hang on… that was a 2-year-old Oreo cookie that just rolled out from behind the maple syrup (yes, we have them here – Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry in fact).

So far, the only evidence of an apocalypse are:

    • the state of my closet – what does one actually wear to an apocalypse?
    • our Government  finally admitting that there will be no budget surplus this year;
    • the current state of Australian cricket;
    • the number of Baked Beans tins in my pantry (one can never be over prepared);
    • the state of Australian reality TV; and
    • the state of my kids’ rooms.

There are however 15 hours to go.

Just wondering if the Mayans were timezone sensitive. Maybe for us Aussies it all ends on the 22nd and we have been lulled into a false sense of security.

D’ang, I will now have to return all the end of the world on the 21st Mayan merchandise

The good thing is that we have the New Zealanders Kiwis, who are two hours ahead, to stand in the way of us and the apocalypse. New Zealand, we will be watching, whilst the rest of the world watches us.

apocolypse

Fear not, we Australians will sacrifice ourselves and the Kiwis for the greater international cause. We will be your apocalyptic guinea pigs!!

And the Mayans better get cracking on continuing the calendar. My desktop flip calendar is just crying out for some forward thinking Mayan wisdom and witticism. A suggestion though, the next version should be in the shape of a carrot… the world is now far more health conscious about its calendars.

In the meantime, dear readers…

KEEP CALM

and

BLOG ON

If you could predict it, how would you spend your last day on earth? Are you changing your routine for the 21st? Do you have any Mayan relatives?

About the curtain raiserhttp://raisingthecurtain.netI have spent my life in offices. For now I am putting that behind me and preparing for the second act. Middle age didn't come with acceptable signposts so I am making my own through my writing. A journey shared is more fun than going it solo.

18 thoughts on “A Pre Apocolyptic Public Service Anouncement To All But The Kiwis

  1. So it looks like I’m going to have to finish my Christmas prep after all, huh? Glad to have you Aussies paving the way for us. And it’s true–we do love your accent. And you have some pretty rugged men over there, too. 😉

    Funny post. 🙂

  2. Whew! I was waiting on your announcement, now I can move forward with Christmas activities. The looming end of the world really tends to put a damper on the shopping. Agreed, the accent truly does rock!

    • Us Aussies rock each other all the time! Actually the worst Aussie accent ever performed by a non-Aussie that I ever heard was on the Simpsons. Having said that, I saw Priscilla on Broadway last year and a couple of the performers totally nailed it.

  3. the accent truly is awesome! So glad to hear you are still there!! Enjoy your last day on earth and if for some reason it truly does happen, then I will borrow a phrase from the 70’s I will see you here, there or in the air!! Thanks for the smile this evening, personally I am waiting to fold my laundry in case it’s all over in the morning and I really hate to fold laundry. DAF

  4. Pingback: Embrace the ‘Morrow! | hughcurtler

  5. Judy, this is priceless. I am glad you made it through the Mayan calendar change. I also am envious of the Aussies and have never been Downunder. I will need to remedy this one day. By the way, another good thing about Australia is your movies. Some of my favorite movies include “Breaker Morant,” “The Man from Snowy River,” and “Phar Lap.” Since we will have more time together with the world not ending, I look forward to reading your blog in 2013, no matter what time it is written. Happy holidays and g’day mate, BTG

    • G’day BTG. I can see you are worthy of an honourary Aussie title and I hereby bestow it on you. I hereby annoint you as BTGO, becuase when you’re an Aussie your mates always throw either an O or a IE on the end of your name. And thank you, I look forward to reading you as well in 2013.

  6. What’s all this about accents? I don’t have one. We must surely lead the world in administrative stupidity. Does anyone else split their countries into HALF-HOUR time zones?….and railways with different width track gauges in every State.
    With all this crud going on and the state of our cricket team any apocalypse would just be a waste of perfectly good energy. No wonder we’re still here:-)

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