I is for the Indispensible Internet (#atozchallenge)

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chrisinplymouth photostream

What would the blogging world be without the Internet? Being new to this world, I am constantly amazed by the opportunities that blogging and the internet open up. The potential to reach thousands of people with a simple hit of the publish key is full of possibility.

Getting a blog site up and running has been one exciting learning curve. So many options, so many things to consider. So much still to explore. I am relishing the challenge of establishing a community and building a following.

Sharing this space with professional and published writers is a heady experience – there is much talent out there. I am honing my craft, producing pieces of work and putting my creative talents out there.

The social side to blogging – becoming involved in fellow bloggers’ lives and getting to know them through their posts – is wonderfully engaging. My WordPress world has become an indispensible part of the day, whether I am posting or reading.

This the Internet:

Indispensible Networking Tool Essential to Releasing New and Entertaining Topics

And I am now a blogger!

G is for Gift Horse: Looking Right Down The Mouth (#atozchallenge)

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When is a gift not really a gift?

I am pondering this question after a small moment of unexpected euphoria crept in this week during a shopping expedition for furniture. Happily, this was not my shopping expedition, but one for a family member – I was merely the chauffeur.

Furniture shopping fills me with dread. It’s such a big responsibility. How many times in one’s lifetime do you buy a hall table, buffet, coffee table, television cabinet all coordinating to match? What happens if the wood grain or stain doesn’t match the rest of the decor? How do I tell the difference between my oaks, teaks and my walnuts and should one mix their cherry with their maple? Questions, questions….always questions.

Given that I was the not the major player in this expedition I was fairly relaxed. There were no decisions for me to make other than which voice would be barking directions from the GPS. I am happy to report that all went well and the furniture was dutifully purchased. The furniture though came with a “gift”.

The sales assistant proudly explained that she would provide a gift certificate for accommodation to the value of some thousands of dollars. Let me reassure you this was not the motivation for the furniture purchase as were unaware of the offer until the decision point had been reached. My family member advised that she would give the certificate to me as a thank you for driving her that day as she had no need for it. In my head I was off and running on my dream holiday to an exotic island location with hula boys, crystal blue waters, fine white sand, colourful alcoholic drinks with paper umbrellas, plastic monkeys and maraschino cherries.

Not so fast! The slippery slide into the realm of the ridiculous beckons:

Step 1: decent from overseas paradise to local – the accommodation is for Australia only. Fade out the hula boys, but OK, there is much of the country left to see.

Step 2: Decent from local to weekend whirlwind – the accommodation is for a maximum of two night’s stay. Well crumbs, who stays somewhere only for two nights unless it is for a family funeral or business trip? Maybe we could tack on some extra nights and make it a true getaway. That’s going to cost something, my wallet is starting to weep just a little.

Step 3: Decent from local weekend whirlwind to the ridiculous – to get the accommodation you have to pay for breakfast and dinner for each person for each night. Really? Have you seen the price of hotel food lately? Captive meal audience amounts to hotel funny money rip-off. And the gift requires the purchase of not one, but two meals per day!

At this point I feel I am looking the gift horse squarely in the mouth and can see not only its tonsils, but its digestive tract as well! And I haven’t even started with the registration, booking and administration required to claim the “gift”.

Of course, these sorts of schemes are designed with people like me in mind. The profit comes from breakage, meaning unredeemed gift certificates. These companies make the initial offer sound irresistible and then litter the path of redemption with obstacles to the point where the offer is only for the truly tenacious.

I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but this is just one asterisk too many. Whatever happened to the good old days when the gift was a real and tangible set of steak knives? Or better yet, no gift, but proper pricing?

Beware the horse bearing gifts for he shall put you to work. Maybe if I had the steak knives I could cut through all of those conditions…

Air Guitars and Wooden Spoon Microphones

Do you go through periods where you have a “Song of the Moment” or “SOM”? A SOM is a song that bears one or more of the following characteristics:

makes you smile and lifts you when you hear it
you have on endless repeat for a month
takes up permanent residence in your head
when you hear it randomly played on media it makes you turn up the volume
makes you feel you are caught up in a moment of serendipity
makes you pause when you hear it

I am having a SOM period at the moment. Every time I hear my SOM randomly played by others, I just feel lucky. So far, my SOM has turned up without me initiating it in my car, in my house, online and in my zumba class. The feel good gods are surely smiling down on me!

A SOM should come with a warning label – WARNING: this song can induce behavioural changes.

Behaviour Can Alter After Exposure

I have been in the car and my SOM is played on the radio. The worry of reaching my destination on time is immediately wiped. Having reached my destination half way through the SOM, I do not exit the vehicle, but rather wait until the SOM is over. The fact that I might be moving my lips and talking/singing to no one whilst tapping the steering wheel like a mad woman does not cross my mind.

My SOM is played on the radio in the kitchen whilst cooking the family meal. Being the clever multitasker that I am, I turn up the volume without missing a beat on the cooking front. The kitchen fades away and in its place a concert arena is formed. The tin of coffee becomes a drum, the lights above the stove become a spot light and my wooden spoon is transformed into a microphone. I also intermittently grab my air guitar when the riff allows. Bring on the adulation! As the SOM ends and I am transported back into my kitchen. I notice the flour on the radio volume control, the coffee tin slightly dented and an array of wooden spoons sitting on the bench. Out of the corner of my eye I see my sons rolling their eyeballs and shaking their heads whilst stalking out of the kitchen. “You sure you don’t want to hang around for the encore?” I yell. I have become a legend in my own meal time.

Ultimately, my SOMs become timeline entries in my music catalogue. At some point my SOM becomes the song of the previous moment and life moves on. I don’t always have a SOM, but when I do, it heightens my belief in random luck and whimsy. That can only be a good thing.

And my current SOM….