Living in a house full of males makes laundry days very dull affairs. A serious yawnfest and study in homogeneity.
On laundry days, I peer into my laundry basket and all I see is a sea of black and gray. Mind you, I am eternally grateful for that sea because it actually means that by some extraordinary miracle, the laundry of my children has made its way into the room where laundering takes place. I am assuming for the minute that the laundry didn’t crawl there by itself, although anyone who has teenagers would know that is a real possibility, especially when the laundry has aged waiting for the bus to arrive.
Back to the sea. For some unknown mystery male reason, the males in my house only ever wear black or grey underclothes. Colourless socks and undies, all uniform, all designed to drive the laundry lady, aka me, spare. Washing I can cope with, but when it comes folding and matching those little suckers, I’m definitely thinking life is too short. If some person of the male species reading this could enlighten me as to why colours and gasp…a pattern or two are a no-go zone in the male underworld, then I would be forever grateful.
Guys, you need to have pity on those of us who do your laundry!
As if the lack of colour does not increase the degree of laundering difficulty enough, when it comes to matching and folding clean socks I always have less than I started off with. It’s almost as if these individual socks have had enough of toeing (get it?…toeing) the shoe line and wait for the minute they can escape to I know not where. Presumably, there is a single sock bar somewhere just waiting for escaped socks or they go and sign up for e-sock harmony or go out to fight at sock club waiting to heel (get it?… heel) or something.
This mystery requires in-depth research and hence my proposed invention…..
SOCKCAM!!
That’s right, a mini waterproof camera that could be fitted on top of the toe of a sock to track its every adventure sending images back to basecamp. We could witness the spying of the escape route, the brush with natural predators up the pipe and the foraging for a mate and finally acceptance in the sock’s natural habitat so that it can ditch its footloose (surly you knew that was coming) status. The footage so exciting that it would be turned into a three episode mini series with David Attenborough commentating.
This has got real legs, a sure winner.
All I need is come capital. Any takers? Any suckers sockers out there? Be a part of this ground-breaking research, amaze your friends at parties and help revolutionise laundry day around the globe.
In the meantime whilst I wait for my venture capitalists to appear, I’ll continue running my co-op for disenfranchised socks and hope that I can integrate these single socks back into their drawer societies in the not too distant future.
Raising the Curtain 
I feel your pain! Same here with black and grey only. The thing my son does that drives me crazy is when he wakes up he puts on a pair of shorts, walks down the steps, the shorts go in the hamper and he gets in the shower. Did they really get dirty walking down the steps? I then take them out of the hamper and put them away. It’s exhausting!
You’re dancing my dance, L. Secret boys business, I’m sure 🙂
For my son I buy bulk socks. Black and white. All the same cut, color, brand. The missing socks are hiding somewhere in a depressed state because nobody ever goes looking for them.
My husband does his own laundry because I am brilliant. When we first started living together, I did a load of his laundry and did not immediately move wet clothes to the dryer. Turns out that makes him crazy. Who knew? 25 years later, I have never done his laundry.
Can you imagine what we would find if we stumbled on all those depressed socks? I have a similar hubby story, when we first married I ironed one of his shirts. The sleeve crease was not apparently creased enough…. or something. It has taken me 22 years to iron another one for him!
🙂
If we stumbled on all of those depressed socks we would probably realize that we should have been looking at our feet to see where we’re going!
Mary never understood why I buy socks in the same colors all the time until I explained the principle of missing socks to her. I’ll end up with one sock that has no mate one week, and the next week it shows up, as if by magic.
I get that. I think it’s also because with colours and a pattern, men would have to gasp…. make a decision as to what to wear on any given day. That would require at least 5 cups of coffee of a morning 🙂
The dryer eats socks, that is my theory and I am sticking to it!! Having girls is not much better. I resorted to taking all socks and throwing them on a mutual item and it was up to them to sort and fold. I HATE socks. Not so bad now that I am an empty nester, but the scars from sock wars through the years remain.
There are scars? Oh my. I dispensed with my dryer years ago, so maybe that’s it. Maybe the socks are looking for their long lost dryer!
This is great! Not only the idea of the sockcam (very clever) but I can’t seem to get the visual of the “Singles Sock Bar” out of my mind. It’s hilarious! On a serious note, I totally understand what you’re talking about. Plain white socks are the worst! I go crazy trying to match just the right amount of wear on each sock with its mate. C-R-A-Z-Y! Thanks for another great chuckle 🙂
Made you laugh – it’s another good day 🙂
Ha! Made me laugh too! Glad you found me yesterday.. like you I’m raising the curtain on my second act..that’s why I decided to start blogging, among other things… Look forward to more of your posts.
Thanks, welcome to my journey and nice to meet you. Looking forward to reading more of you as well.