It’s hard to believe that we have already arrived at P on the permission list. It’s another one of the big ones. and it took a conversation with a friend this morning to remind me of it. Up until that time, I was ready to give myself permission to be playful. It actually doesn’t take much to make me playful because I love a good laugh and a bit of innocent mischief. And there’s nothing like bonding over playful banter. True friends engage in banter, it’s the elixir of relationships. At least in my world.
But for the purposes of today’s post I’m going to focus on patience, because for most of us it’s harder to achieve than playfulness.
Before reaching this stage of life, I always thought that the older one became, the more impatient one got. In fact, I probably saw it as a benefit of older age, as a bi-product of the freedom of not having to impress. It’s amazing how one’s perspective changes as the reality of being of middle age sets in.
As a younger person, I never had any patience for patience – didn’t see the value or the need for it. I’m not talking about the patience needed for waiting for a bus or for a movie to open or a book to be released. Never having been one to stand there impatiently looking at my watch, I used that time to people watch or distract myself with other things. However, having made a decision, I used to go for it and go for it hard.
Now, not so much. Not because the hunger is any different, but now I see the value in picking my moment and scoping out the landscape.
This holds especially true for any area that involves relationships and friendships. Too often, we get blinded from the relentless pursuit of our own agenda and our own needs and fail to see that the other person is not quite on the same page. By pushing ahead with too much haste, we often burn our chance at the brass ring. And often we don’t get another shot, although we think we might.
It has been said that patience is the companion of wisdom. And I see that now. For it is hard to engage in patience or see the value of being patient without that hard fought wisdom. Over the past few years I’ve had many people come into my life to teach me the lesson of patience and frankly, my children have been trying to teach me the lesson over the past eighteen years. Quite honestly, there is no better teacher of patience than your own child or spouse. The lessons are never easy, but they are essential if we are to have the skills necessary to find happiness in the second act. For patience with ourselves is just as critical as patience with others and will become even more critical as time marches on.
We owe it to ourselves to give us the time and space we need to master new skills, obtain new outlooks and make the changes necessary to orient ourselves to a new direction. You cannot turn the Titanic around on a dime. And to turn the Titanic you will need patience and lots of it.
And people who are meant to come to you or back to you, will. As someone I know is fond of saying, what is meant for you will not pass you by – truly.
Is patience something you struggle with? What’s the best lesson in patience you have ever received?
Today I give myself permission to be patient
Raising the Curtain 
I must confess I am not the most patient of persons!
Surely not!
Thank you or reminding all of us, such wisdom, you wrote this with your heart and love for others
It’s interesting. As the A to Z Challenge goes on, I’m finding that I’m writing from deeper with in. What a great observation, thank you.
Patience and I do not match like ham & cheese on toast. I get impatient waiting in lines, I get impatient hanging on the phone to Telstra and the like. I am a person who cannot sit still, I consider that impatient, why put off to tomorrow what you can do today? Another P – why procrastinate. I am struggling with patience very much so at the moment with my mother who bless her heart is slipping very slowly with dementia. I don’t know how dad can handle, it, it takes every ounce of what ever patience I have not to get frustrated….life as we know it.
Sorry to hear about your mother, it must be very difficult. My mother is also aging and she is slowing down and I can see the slowness increasing every week. I also try and remember this is to be expected at this age and I am lot more patient with her now than I would have been say five years ago.Procastination is not my thing either. I’m a gunner not a gonna.
Thanks hun. Yes it is very difficult witnessing their ageing, mum and I tiff quite regularly now, …the only good thing is she forgets most of the time. I try to be patient – but at times it’s impossible as she has also grown extremely stubborn.
I wish your mum well. xx
Oh, yes, I struggle with patience. I think I’m still waiting to receive that life lesson…
Well, I hope you patiently wait for that lesson to come 😉
I have always been a patient person, but this probably has a lot to do with being rather a passive person. Outwardly I exhibit an appearance of extreme patience though inwardly I may not always be that way. I guess I’m most impatient when I want to be on time for something and things seem to hinder my doing so.
Greatest test of patience? Probably raising kids, but it all paid off well in the end.
Lee
A Faraway View
An A to Z Co-host blog
It’s interesting you equate patience with passivity, or at least that it contributes. I’m not quite so convinced of that. Some of the most patient people I know are quite assertive, but they go about it in a measured and deliberate fashion.
I can be excessively patient with others. With myself, not so much.
Agree that somehow being patient with ourselves is so much harder for some reason.
Nice post, sometimes I am; sometimes I’m not. When in traffic my husband most definitely is not, I am. I get in-patient at his antic when he’s in-patient. lol A-Z
Hi Sandy and thank you. Yes, driving seems to bring out the impatient in most people, especially men. I love that you say you get impatient with your hubby’s impatience. Good luck with the rest of the Challenge.
So so very true. Thanks for this wonderful reminder.
Thanks.
Love the Yoda reference… much Zen in that little green dude. I must admit I was the same as you as a youth, as I get older I am prepared to wait a little longer for some things, not every thing but I am working on it! 🙂
We are all a work in progress. I’m working on a whole lot as well.But conscious awareness is a huge first step.
Enjoyed scrolling through and reading some of your A to Z posts. Being patient (At first I thought you were going to address being A patient) is something that does come with the wisdom of age, I agree, if one gains wisdom as one ages. I have learned even more lately how important it is just to let patience take a front seat in my life, so I don’t run ahead to try to fix what is not mine to fix and end up breaking it instead. Thanks for your thoughts. God bless, Maria from http://delightdirectedliving.blogspot.com
You’re right about running ahead and trying to fix what is not yours to fix. See, that’s what wisdom does, makes you see that that it’s not yours to fix 🙂 Thanks for the great comment.
when I was young, I was full of impatience. Hurry, hurry. Go, go, go. Now, I know that anxiety caused by impatience doesn’t help. Whatever will be, will be.
I like this post for A-Z Challenge.
You’re spot on about anxiety. Not to mention the frustration that goes hand in hand with it.
I try to be patient. Don’t always manage it, but the thought it there 🙂
And it’s the thought that counts, right ;)?