Ever wondered what it would be like to have special effects, close-ups and other show production techniques at your disposal in real life? Here’s what I’ve thought about:
- Fade to Black – definitely useful for when that accidental clanger is dropped or when you need an opportunity to digest some piece of information before responding. The fade to black button would come with two options, one for freezing time so that the fade in would start at the time as the fade out was triggered or one for continuing in real time so that the fade in comes in a time suitable to you. No more awkward moments… ever.
- Time Lapse Photography – for all those times when patience has run out and you just want to cut to the chase of the consequences of your decisions. Time never has to wait for no man ever again.
- Makeup! – having a professional make up artist on standby for all those shiny moments. Excuse me please, I just need to call for some makeup. After all, confidence is everything,
- Mood Lighting – for when your makeup artist is otherwise disposed or you absolutely cannot handle sunlight.
- Background Music – to warn you of danger up ahead, mirror your mood or just to make sense of the world around you. The Jaws music would definitely come in handy on a trip to the beach or the Close Encounters of a Third Kind theme when meeting someone green.
- The Close Up – definitely useful for all those WTF moments when appropriately combined with the Fade to Black technique. Also helps when one of your children ask you something painfully obvious that you have told them multiple times before.
- Cut! – for all those times you wished you could do it all again or when you knew you were pushing something uphill.
- Preview – a private screening with a select focus group would come in very handy for all those “Does My Bum Look Big In This” moments.
- Wardrobe Department – possibly in lieu of number 8, although much higher maintenance than a screening room.
- Applause and Canned Laughter – I mean who doesn’t want these, seriously?
With just a little help we could all be the Oscar winners in our own life production.
What would you add to this list?
Raising the Curtain 
Oh, these are wonderful. I especially love the ‘cut’ option. I might also add a remote control tool so I could mute, pause, fast forward, or rewind those life moments that call for such an occasion. 🙂
A remote control tool would be perfect, mute would be particularly helpful :).
Ha-ha-ha. This is delightful. Every single ‘movie app’ you mention would be useful in real life. I especially like the fade to black and music to warn of impending danger. You are truly clever to write of this. Got me smiling. 😉
I got you smiling, it is/was a good day then 😉
Outstanding. 😉
Oh so fun and clever. I’d add camera framing so that just the parts of you or your life you want seen are shown.
A camera framing, yes! Would come in very handy with certain family members 🙂
Slow motion for those times you want to cherish…. this is great… I could have used fast forward last night driving home from a baby shower with a tired hubby who was telling me how to shift, brake, and drive…
LOL, DAF, love this comment. Yes, fast forward at work and slow motion for the weekends. I assume you shifted, broke and drove home safely and you could do it all without instruction 😉
Just so you know….I’m voting for “Fade to Black”…..more times than you or I could ever count…removing foot from mouth!! Great options…..order me “Fade to Black”, please.
One Fade to Black coming right up for JOTS!! I know that feeling only too well.
LOL Preview – yes please 🙂 Mine? Hmmm – “From the beginning”? – Do they say that – or Re-Take? (I am so not up with the Movie Directions lingo) – just sounds good especially if you are having to do love scenes with George, Hugh, Johnny etc…ok mind going elsewhere now. Great Post as usual girl x
Retake, sounds good to me. George and Hugh I got – Johnny as in Travolta?
Depp woman Depp! 🙂 xx
I love this, especially the Jaws music playing in the background…lord knows I thought that more than once. I would love to bring in a stunt person to handle all those uncomfortable moments that I would enjoy much more on the sidelines.
A stunt person is perfect. Imagine being able to substitute a willing participant for sitting in the dentist chair!
PERFECT! I could use all these at work, and lots of eye rolling. Nice post.
Thank you. Eye rolling, I think I already use that one at work, although try desperately to keep it out of my emails 😉