Tag Archives: #atozchallenge

The A of Living Imperfectly: Attitude not Aptitude #atozchallenge

Do not endeavour to shine in all companies. Leave room for your hearers to imagine something within you beyond all you have said. And remember the more you are praised, the more you are envied – Martine’s Handbook to Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness, Arthur Martine, Dick & Fitzgerald Publishers, 1866

A Challenge LetterOld etiquette books are a great source of entertainment. Pages and pages of rules and tips on how to act and how not to act. In short, an almost complete prescription for how to be perceived as perfect by your fellow members of polite society. The entertainment value comes from seeing whether the rules as prescribed are still relevant today and if so whether the consequences of a transgression are still quite as harsh. For this reason and because to me these etiquette books are the antitheses of authenticity and a symbol of the energy involved in striving for perfection, I will try to open each Challenge post with a relevant quote from one of these books.

We spend a lot of time working on aptitude. Studying, researching and honing our skills in our relentless strive to show the world a finished and polished product. In most cases, we never even get to the point of showing the world the skills we have mastered because in our minds they are deemed not enough or as we wish them to be. And the world and we miss out. For in all of the finishing and polishing we have missed the chance to truly be ourselves and to learn even more. Worse yet, we often chose not to attempt something at all, because we know that it will not be prefect.

True it is we marvel at those who display amazing talent.

It is also true that after a certain age, we also marvel and even admire those that try no matter how imperfect they are. Namely, we admire their attitude. And why is this? Why does the 80 year old skydiver fill our hearts with so much inspiration? Is it because their technique is perfect? Or because we have finally let them off the hook of the need to be perfect?

At what point in the human life cycle is the statute of limitations reached for the need to strive for perfection ?

your-attitude-not-your-aptitude-determines-your-altitude-zig-ziglar-quotes

It is a real shame that we only allow ourselves and others the luxury of true authenticity in the twilight of their lives. This is the one time when we seem to celebrate attitude over aptitude.

When Zig Ziglar framed his famous words he did so in the context of describing the powerful benefits of a positive attitude. This post is not about advocating a positive attitude (although that helps – a lot), but rather an attitude of I am who I am and I’m ready to show the world even though my aptitude may not be the standard that I think is required.

To illustrate this point, I had an interesting conversation with a lady at my Zumba class a couple of weeks ago. She had come a couple of times but was still feeling a little awkward at the end of her third class when she said:

“I think I’ll have to practice to some videos at home before I come back, I just can’t master the steps”

To which I told her: “Don’t worry, it will come.  It took me about six to eight classes to start getting the hang of it”

To which she replied “I’m so glad you said that, it makes me feel a lot better. I really love the music and I love to dance.”

Denying yourself fun and enjoyment because you miss a few steps is just reinforcing your perfectionist comfort zone. Hearing someone had the same struggles is liberation.

Closeting your talents in the strive for perfection denies you the opportunity of real learning, feedback and growth. It may also deny you an opportunity for connection. One of the surest way to connect is to give someone the opportunity to say “yeah, me too.”

Daring to believe in your aptitude is daring to be imperfect.

To all of my fellow A to Z bloggers, happy A day and let the Games begin!

Is there something you have always wanted to try but haven’t for the fear of not doing it perfectly?

On Bodies and Middle Age: Out of the Mouths of Not So Recent Babes

In the land of the future it’s now Sunday morning and this generally means weekend newspapers and a leisurely breakfast.

The front page of our paper today features a picture of a stunning Elle McPherson under which is written the headline “The Body at 50”. A quick turn to page 7 reveals that Elle turned the big 5-0 yesterday and that The Body still has the body. The article outlines her various business and fashion successes and notes that Time once named Elle the “body of our time”.

I am sure there was no consultation between our respective mothers back in 1964 when they chose to give birth to girls within a couple of months of each other. However, I have had the spectre of being the same age as Elle McPherson hanging over me since the dawn of my time. In what is a perfect case of ‘comparison could really be the thief of joy”, I have tried hard to avoid such folly.

There is no doubt Elle looks fabulous in her now half a century body. And why wouldn’t she? The article tells us she is a devotee of exercise via skiing, surfing, yoga, swimming and hiking, drinking three litres of water daily, completing 500 sit-ups and running up and down four flights of stairs five times every morning in her twenties – Sun Herald, 30 March 2014. If that’s the case, then Elle deserves the way she now looks.

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Me? I am still struggling with the notion of being able to do 500 sit-ups and running up and down flights of stairs on a full bladder.

So in a moment of comparison insanity (because even the Curtain Raiser sometimes succumbs on weekends), I held up the front page photo next to my face and asked my eldest son “Do you think I could be confused with Elle McPherson?”

Not missing a beat, he replied “No mum, Elle McPherson is not good looking.”

Just goes to show there are some things that not even 500 daily sit-ups and three litres of water can buy you.

There are better things than being perfect, this is just one of them.

Come join me in April when I explore further the concept of being perfectly imperfect in the A to Z Challenge April Blogging Challenge.

 

The Great A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal: Perfectly Imperfect

To prove that bloggers are not only creative but also ingenious, the folks at #TeamDamyanti are hosting the A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal. A blog hop within a blog fest, today is the day that more than three hundred bloggers reveal their theme for the A to Z April Blogging Challenge. A to Z Theme Reveal They have answered the age old question of to Theme or not to Theme with a resounding yes and have put their theme out there.

Last year, I decided to run with a theme for the first time. It was so much fun, that I’m doing it again this year. Last year I blogged a twenty six step permission slip, allowing myself to do, experience and think about things in a way I had never done before. The whole April journey was enjoyable, revealing and cathartic. In a similar vein, my theme for this year is….

The A to Z of Living Imperfectly

In today’s world there is a real pressure to try to have it all and be it all. Society pressures us into acting and thinking a certain way and whilst there is some wriggle room within those confines, it is not always enough. From what we do for a living, to what we wear, what we eat, how we parent and how we spend our leisure time there are enduring expectations. If you are a certain age you are expected to behave a certain way (or not to behave in a certain way), if you are a parent there is incredible pressure for perfection, a pressure we tend to project onto our children’s’ lives all too readily.

If perfection is the key to success or the road to happiness, then I have failed miserably to find that key. And yet I feel successful and happy. This spurs me even more to push my personal boundaries and grow, much to the chagrin of my peers who have certain  views on the perfect midlife hair, fashion, etiquette, social activities and more. My views are somewhat different, no better or worse, and it just means that I have eschewed perfection for authenticity. When I talk about perfection in this context, I mean acting or thinking in such a way that is generally regarded as the best way to act or think.

To my mind perfection is an illusion sort of like the equation X +1. You think you have hit X only to find there is always one more step so you keep on striving and others keep on judging. This is not to say don’t do your best, but making perfection one’s life quest is fraught.

In April, I am going to explore the concept of perfection looking at certain areas where society expects perfection and conclude why it is more than acceptable not to be perfect. I hope it will serve as a beacon or a flair for those who have decided that perfection is not all that it is cracked up to be or who are thinking about taking their first tentative steps away from perfection.

perfectly fine

I hope that my struggles with perfection will give you some insights and demonstrate that we all have our individual struggles with it and that is OK.

Come join me in April for some imperfect living.

And to wet your appetites just a little more, here are a few more WordPress bloggers who are partaking in the Challenge and who revealed their themes today:

  • Carrie Anne, who blogs at That Dizzy Chick revealed her Challenge theme of inspirational quotes. Get set for a whole month of inspiration
  • Linda Maye Adams who blogs at her site of the same name, revealed her theme of what is it like to be in the military. According to Linda’s blog she is an author and a soldier having spent 12 years in the Army. Sounds like some unique insights in store for us in April
  • A Short A Day is an author’s blog and in April this author will blog a story. One hundred words every day starting with the relevant letter of the alphabet.
  • Lainey who blogs at laineyrain, revealed her Challenge theme of be braver . This will be a series of blogs about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Go Lainey!
  • Precari0us who blogs at Sumptuous Living revealed her theme of letters to my daughter, a fictional series.

With this sort of variety April is shaping up to be a great blogging month. Sign ups for the Challenge have now reached the 1400 mark and it’s still not too late if you want to join in. You can sign up here.

Eight days to go to A Day!!

The Clock Strikes February, Time To Think About the A to Z April Blogging Challenge #atozchallenge

Time really does fly. It feels like the last A to Z April Blogging Challenge just finished and here we are again.

February is the perfect month to start thinking about and planning for the A to Z April Blogging Challenge.

A to Z Participant Badge

Whether you’re new to blogging or have been blogging for some time, the A to Z April Blogging Challenge is a great way to build content and a following. It’s also a great way to field test new ideas for posts or consolidate and build on the direction you already have.

This is my favourite Challenge. There are three factors which work hugely in its favour.

Sense of Community

Achievable

Rest Days

Participating in the A to Z blogging Challenge makes you part of the A to Z community. Last year approximately 2,500 blogs from all over the Sphere joined in the event. It is an amazing site to see posts pop up from all over the world all starting with the same letter. Quite apart from building your own content and enhancing your blogging skills the Challenge is a nice way to find new blogs to read and to make new connections.  Moreover, the A to Z Challenge family has engaged a vast team of experienced Challenge veterans to help make participants welcome, to provide tips and encouragement.  This year the Challenge has 11 co-hosts who lead an able team of ambassadors to guide participants through the event. All of the Ambassadors have been through the Challenge before, know the benefits and pitfalls and are more than willing to give you the benefit of their learning.

I am proud to have been chosen as an Ambassador for this year’s Challenge. My team is lead by the founder of the Challenge, Arlee (Lee) Bird whose main blog is Tossing It Out. I got to know Lee through my first Challenge participation in 2012 and  was grateful to have been chosen as one of his ambassadors for the first time in 2013. Lee has assembled an able crew comprising:

Tim Brannan – The Other Side Blog, The Freedom of Nonbelief, Red Sonja, She Devil With A Sword, Amazon Princess

Yvonne Lewis – Writing For Pleasure (seriously suggest you visit Yvonne’s blog just to be able to groove the alphabet while you’re reading)

Jami Barone – Divine Inspiration (a fellow WordPress blogger)

Doreen McGettigan – Doreen McGettigan

Corrine Rodrigues – Everyday Gyaan

Rob Z Tobor – the Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor

Yours truly.

Each of the other Challenge co-hosts have also assembled teams of able ambassadors ready to reach out and bring you into the Challenge fold.

Not yet convinced? Not only fun, the Challenge is achievable by bloggers of all standards and experience. I have been Arlee-Ambassadors-medinvolved in some Challenges which are run by beautifully professional business orientated blog sites. They are pitched at those wanting to run their blogs like a business and often I have felt like I am participating in one long advertisement. If you are blogging because you love writing or because you love being creative but don’t necessarily want to push products through your blog then this Challenge is for you. It is run by a bunch of down to earth bloggers, who want to have fun and get creative and understand the art of promotion but are not solely driven by it. So refreshing.

And finally the rest days. Some challenges mean you blog every day for a month. I have found that it is very beneficial to have a few blog rest days during an intense period of blogging. There are four rest days during the Challenge, generally falling on a Sunday which allow you to catch up on any missed posts, rethink your Challenge direction or plan for the next week’s Challenge posts. If you already have all your posts planned you can use the time to spread some comment love or catch up on your blog reading. It’s nice to have a pressure release available because nobody is perfect and sometimes life happens.

I’m already planning my Challenge theme and scouting the Sphere for new Challenge blogs to follow. So, if you are looking for a Challenge that is:

artistic, brazen, brisk, brash and boisterous, captivating and creative, dynamic, exhilarating and engaging, fun and frantic, genial and gratifying, huge, intense and interesting, juicy and justifiable, known and kinetic, lucrative, memorable, neighbourly and noticeable, opportune, productive, prominent, quaint and quirky, rewarding and researchable, social, tenacious, ultimate and understanding vibrant, versatile and variable, wild and worthwhile, (e)xtreme, yearly, zealous, zesty and zippy

come join me and sign up here.

You don’t have to be an A type personality to enjoy or complete this Challenge, any letter will do.