A Schlocky Rhyming Christmas

It had to happen sooner or later, so it might well be at Christmas when goodwill to fellow man and blogger is supposedly at its highest.

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SCHLOCKY POEM AHEAD

This would be a good time to eject if you hate cheese, schlock or have inadverantly landed here only for mental stimulation.

‘Twas the day of Christmas
And all through the house
All creatures were stirring
Even the spouse
 
The tree was adorned
And the presents destined to fate
For the family members knew
That unwrapping must wait
 
For Christmas is about people
And they would come first
A feast to celebrate
More than one birth
 
Yes it’s true that Jesus was born
On this very day
But as luck would have it
So too was the spouse, it’s always been that way
 
A birthday cake and card
Must also be had
Happy birthday sung
Because he is dad (and can perfom a miracle or two when pressed)
 
It is a day to come together
And celebrate what matters
A day for laughter
And cross-generational chatter
 
And after lunch
With stomachs replete
The teens distribute the presents
With much stomping of feet
 
A whole lot of ripping
Of paper ensues
What’s that odd looking moving gift?
We all haven’t a clue
 
It seems at the moment
That my idea is not so jolly
Of choosing that Adam and Eve mug
For old Aunt Molly
 
It’s a little bit naughty
But could cause some grief
When the hot water dissolves
Good ole’ Adam’s fig leaf
 

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

 
The food’s a cooking
And all is in place
For the family to descend
And leave more than a trace
 
So far so good
The situation’s not overly curly
For my mother in law
Has not turned up too early
 
 
 
She usually comes
Two hours before
The critical path time
It’s part of our familty folklore
 
So, I’m thankful
For small mercies
And look forward to the repast
The time is almost here, it’s coming up fast
 
So nothing is left
Other than to say
I wish you all a Merry Christmas
[And Happy Birthday, if it’s relevant to you]
And peace and sanity for the day!
 
Addendum
 
The curtain will be raised
Even more tonight
When I blog at Company for Christmas
To make someone’s day seem more bright
 
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P is for Plethora: So Many P Words, So Little Time (#atozchallenge)

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The A to Z Blogging Challenge is an interesting beast. There are some letters that I have struggled with and yet there are others where the ideas just come in abundance. I suppose that’s why they call it a challenge.. and challenging, yet gratifying it has been.

“P” is one of these plentiful letters with great topics coming to me without pause. I really didn’t need to plow the dictionary or plunder the Internet for particular subjects. So being the positive person that I am, knowing that I won’t be pilloried by the wonderful blogging population out there and pondering that perchance this post will be pertinent to at least some of you, I have decided to publish a plethora of “P” words.

I have a passion for word play and punning. Some might say that’s a bit peculiar, but I have come to the conclusion that word play and punning are rather popular pastimes. Not one to procrastinate I throw on my pantaloons and pursue my passion with persistance and patience and without pause.

I also have a pechant for rhyming schloky poetry. I have penned a plentiful number of positive and philosophical birthday poems for plutonic pals and acquaintances. Some of them have even thought they were pretty as a picture and have framed them for posterity. They are rather unique pieces of prose and are in no way pedestrian. A poetic portrait, if you will. One day I may even find prosperity through my prose and passions. Pending that, I will have to participate in paid penance…er, employment and persist in perfecting my product  part time.

All “P” words aside, I really do love to write funny rhyming poems for friends’ special occasions and love to think about rhyming word combinations and puns. I’d love to hear from you if you (secretly or otherwise) love punning and word play. Let me know what form your punning/word play takes.

Just in case it wasn’t pitch perfect and painfully clear, this post was brought to you by the letter P and the colour purple. It was no problem or painstaking, and in fact was a pleasure to produce.