I Feel The Need… The Need to Read!

Top Gun, what a classic. Fighter pilots, men in uniform, men out of uniform, aviator sunnies with cheeky handles like “Iceman”, “Viper”, “Goose” and “Maverick”. It also gifted us some great lines, one of which I have borrowed and contorted for my own nefarious blog purposes.  So whilst the remaining MiGs bug out, here’s a fantastic compilation video of Top Gun scenes with the song that has been playing in my head ever since I thought of the heading for this post.

I’m not going to be shooting down any enemy planes today, but I do feel invigorated. Why? Because today I refound my passion for reading books. This folks, is a big deal, huge, phenominal even!

To put this in context, a couple of years ago I used to be a voracious book reader, running at two to three a week. Mostly veg books, to use the expression of my fellow blogger, Eagle Eyed Editor. After a long day reading copious quantities of heavy and dry business material, I craved the escapist world of veg books, no thinking required, just pure emotion and verbage.  All my books were paper books and I loved thumbing the pages, loved looking at the well used spines lined up like sentinels on my book shelf and loved rereading my favourites when the mood struck.

And then I stopped. Cold. I flirted briefly with reading some non-fiction books, but I never became so deeply immersed as when my imagination was ignited by fiction. The only real explanation I can think of why is that slowly or possibly not so slowly my reading habits changed from paper to online. Suddenly my reading became centered around blogs of all kinds, personal blogs of my WordPress friends, blogs about management and leadership, blogs about marketing and social media, newspaper and journalistic blogs, blogs about writing, and blogs about blogs!

image from microsoft clipart

Most of the material was and is engaging and it is material that as an Australian I would never have had access to before the online age. Suddenly there was a whole new world to explore and learn from. And it was all free and accessible whenever I needed. But I think it came at a price.

Blog pieces, or at least the best blog pieces, are less than a thousand words long and possibly even shorter than that. They are short sound bytes designed to tantalize and entertain and much territory could be covered in the space of an hour online. Get to the point and prove your expertise quickly or find yourself in the middle of a cavernous snoozefest. During my blog hopping phase I did pick up a book or three in the hope that I would once again find my reading passion and the buzz of immersion. Maybe they were the wrong books or maybe it was the environment, but more often than not I found myself stopping after five pages. That was until I read a couple of recent books, including the book I discussed in my last blog post

Today, my journey back to the book world reached a pivotal point, for today I wondered into my favorite bookshop. It is in fact the last of the giant bookstores in my city, three levels of tomes, stacked on pallets, stacked on shelves, well…just stacked! Today there was a promotion for a classical music CD taking place when I walked in and the sounds of a soulful cello played. The musician was in store with his cello and there was a buzz. Customers and store clerks milled about and there was some serious browsing taking place in the aisles.

Gratuitous aviator sunnies pic

I felt like it was almost a spiritual experience with a real sense of it feeling right. I savoured reading the book jackets and combing the shelves for an hour and I am happy to say came away with three books to read. It is time to be immersed, to be transported. It is time to read the marathon after a long time spent sprinting.  I am revelling in this sense of anticipation and looking forward to getting reacquainted with turning pages, sneakily reading ahead and shutting the book cover when the last full stop has been read.

It is time to feed the need, the need to read!

Did you find the internet impacting your reading habits? Do you love to read? Do you sneakily read ahead?

The Gift Of A Journey: Windows in the Clouds by Stephen Byrne

How do you react when people tell you meaningful stories about their lives? Particularly those lives that are very different to your own? Do you listen with impatience or do you listen with intent? I cherish the moments when people let me enter their private worlds, when they give me a glimpse of the threads that have contributed to the fabric of their current being. To me, this sort of story is a gift.

Let me tell you about one such gift. The gift is the story of Stephen Byrne or as I know him, Steve. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not acquainted with too many pilots who can write nor too many authors who can fly – a rather intriguing combination of itself. But what makes this story a little bit more unique is that Steve also happens to be a paraplegic.

Steve’s story is documented in his autobiography, Windows In The Clouds, recently published by Zeus Publications.

Much like Steve’s life, the book comprises two distinct parts. The first part chronicles Steve’s early life and childhood years, the tree felling accident that changed his life in 1985 and its aftermath. The second part is more travel guide and through his story and the story of others, Steve documents his first solo overseas travel experience to the United States of America, a trip lasting seven weeks and taking in twenty-two States and a flying experience with Challenge Air.

Overseas readers will find the first part of the book particularly interesting because it contains many glimpses into small town, rural Australian life. Steve grew up and lived a lot of his life in the Southern NSW town of Cootamundra, which some of you may know as the birthplace of our most famous cricketer, Sir Donald Bradman. It is the story of a young child with dreams of living and working on the land, of clinging to the hope of one day owning his own farm and of putting a less than stellar family life behind him only to have those dreams snatched away through paraplegia. It is also the story of a young man struggling to come to terms with an irrevocable life change and of eventually refashioning his dreams and taking grasp of them.

What makes this book a pleasure to read is the depth of the writing. The main reason for its depth is that the author has quite a remarkable level of self-awareness. The fact that it comes from the male of the species is even more astonishing! Take this paragraph as an example:

I could just not cope with what had happened to me and I had turned into someone I didn’t like. Although I had survived a tree falling on me….I felt like a complete and utter failure. I looked around my farm and could find no real happiness. I had bought this block of land in the very real hope that it would help me to come to terms with what happened. Although I felt at times that I was in paradise here deep in the Australian bush, what was going on in my head was extremely dark.” [reproduced with the kind permission of Stephen Byrne]

I admit that I have only known Steve since his accident and in some ways I think that puts me at a distinct advantage. For I am not distracted by mourning what WAS, but rather I focus on celebrating what IS. And what IS, is a remarkable life, a published author and a talented pilot, most worthy of celebrating.

For this blog piece, I asked Steve what made him write this book, to which he replied:

” I wrote my book for a number of reasons. I suppose I had always wanted to write something about my life and what had happened to me, particularly my early life. The older I get, the more I realise just how much my early life has shaped the balance. I don’t want to keep going back into the past but unless I can deal with that it will always keep getting in the way of what I am doing now. I have also written what I have because I hope that my story may help others. It took me so long to really come to terms with what had happened to me and just how much it has affected my personality. The wheelchair only exacerbated all that was still lying under the surface. When I first tried to write my story fifteen years ago I gave up on it because I didn’t want to portray such a negative story. Over the intervening years things have changed in so many ways and there have been some real positives in there. I guess I have been able to, and I hope I have, outweigh the negatives with the positives.

To be able to put other people’s lives into my book I think brings some sort of balance to it all. I didn’t want to just talk about myself. Being able to tell other people’s stories takes the focus away from me a bit. Being able to also add a travel story adds to the mix.”

Whilst I have seen the story being described as “a story about overcoming spinal cord injury”, I don’t believe that this is an accurate description. Firstly, in my view, spinal cord injury cannot be overcome – its affects can be mitigated, sure, but the injury itself cannot be overcome as the spinal cord cannot repair itself. Secondly, to bill this book merely as the usual story of disabled inspiration sells it short, which is confirmed by Steve’s own words above. If you are inspired after reading the book – great – but you should read it for the depth of the writing, for the lessons which can be applied to your own life and for gaining an insight into a life different to your own.

As for the second part of the book, as a reader you feel like you are travelling for the first time, experiencing the thrill of mastering a new environment, of overcoming doubts and discovering just about anything is possible. There is a real sense of wonder that permeates though it, together with some wonderfully humorous anecdotes. Watch out for the Kansas City incident, it’s a real pearler!

Steve with a couple of mutual friends of ours, Tony and Randy (RIP)

I know more than a few writers read my blog so I finally asked Steve about the publishing experience. Steve had this to say:

“Being able to get someone to think that this was worth publishing was a big step. I had thought about self publishing but didn’t want to go down that road because having someone else publish my book was an affirmation that it was something worth doing.”

The book was certainly worth doing and is certainly worth reading. It is the gift of a journey.

You can purchase the book through Amazon here and visit Steve’s website, Parapilots, here.

What’s the most interesting biography or autobiography that you have read? Would you ever contemplate writing your own life story?

Whip Me, Beat Me, Butter You Up….Canadian Style

To all of you who stumbled upon my blog believing you are in for the maple leaf foody version of 50 Shades of Grey you have a wonderfully kinky imagination. If you also experience a sense of disappointment as you read on to find that the playroom is in fact a kitchen and the only implements out of the drawer are a spoon and knife, then to you I say “laters baby, you’re going to have to find your kinky eatery elsewhere.”

image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons – Kelly Sue De Connick

For the rest of you, I would like to introduce you to my latest favourite indulgence, whipped peanut butter. This post was inspired by your comments to my Paying the Blog Love FAward post as it seems that on a quick sampling of my blog readers, whipped peanut butter may not yet have made it to the shores of the US of A. Be prepared to be wowed by this product for it is the rock star of peanut butter. So good in fact, it has its own Facebook fan page and its own dedicated chauffeur driven national tour vehicle (check out the pics on the page).

I am amazed that my American readers have not had the opportunity to experience the guilty pleasure of whipped peanut butter. Not so long ago, we lived in a world where Australia was always 6-12 months behind the US in terms of product, movie, music and television show releases. Take for example, The Bold And the Beautiful, which I will never publicly admit to watching. Until recently we down here were watching Ridge & Brooke get engaged for the first time…. allegedly …..whilst you guys over there were watching their children celebrate coming of age… allegedly. I say allegedly, because I don’t watch it, well not when I’m not bedridden anyway. But here, now, we are experiencing the marvels of whipped peanut butter whilst you apparently are not!

There has only ever been one brand peanut butter that has graced my pantry and that’s Kraft. Never oily, never dry… a whole lot of crunchy….just superb. Imagine my unmitigated delight when I noticed a new Kraft kid on the block on the supermarket shelves, a total no brainer.

[Dear Kraft marketing gurus, if you are reading this then we will be at home all week to take delivery of that case of whipped peanut butter you have lying around at the back of the warehouse…I won’t even tell my blog readers about the 20 cases you have already not sent me… as I reign in my pulsating desire and sensuously lick the excess peanut butter from my fingers and wipe my smeared keyboard].

So here’s what y’all are missing. Whipped peanut butter is a light, fluffy smooth version of the product. It spreads beautifully and doesn’t stick to the roof of your mouth or to your utensils. Washing the empty jar is a dream and it tastes the same as its heavier siblings, but aerated. I image it makes a fantastic foundation for a dip or satay sauce given its consistency. Fantastic on toast and even better on thin multigrain rice cakes, it’s an all-purpose jar of pleasure. Even better than se…semolina!

So good in fact, we import the whipped product from Canada. Yep, Canada! Canadian air must be really something for Kraft to fly the product all the way down here. Especially when the non whipped product is manufactured here in Australia – take a look at Exhibits A and B below. This well travelled peanut butter can fly half way around the world but somehow can’t make its way immediately south of the Canadian border. I’m sure there’s some logic in this…somewhere. I will figure it out just as soon as I finish my peanut butter and honey delight.

Exhibit A:

Made in Australia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exhibit B (hale the rock star):

Complete with Canadian air!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s only one thing to do in these circumstances my US friends and that is to storm the Canadian border and insist on your right to a whipping!

In the meantime, well played, Canada, well played…. I will gladly send you all our Vegemite supplies in exchange for your whipped peanut butter cache. Just what you always wanted, Canada – Australian prime quality yeast extract, And yes it really is as hideous as it sounds!

What is your favourite sandwich spread? Have you ever tried Vegemite? Would you want to? What’s your favourite accompaniment to peanut butter?

Let’s Phlog Monday: A Little Warmth And A Whole Lot of Renewal

I can’t believe that August is almost over and with it, winter. It has been a cold one here, windy and flu ridden and I am happy to bid it goodbye. Not that I desire to wish time away, certainly not at this stage of the game. But when the sun shines and the shivering stops, the heart swells just a little more and the momentum of renewal grows.

Spring in Australian doesn’t officially start until 1 September, but it has been the in the air for the last week or so. There are stirrings of colour in our gardens and insect activity has been on the increase. This is almost one of those perfect moments of the year. The harshness of winter is all but behind us and now our seasons of warmth and increased outdoor activity beckon. An almost child-like sense of anticipation pervades and it’s all ahead of us.

Not my photo although I wish it were!

And like the seasons cycle, so do the seasons within our lives. Happily, my own personal sense of renewal has coincided with the start of Spring! Coincidence? Methinks not. The Universe has a way of delivering to us the appropriate backdrops for our personal seasons or perhaps the Universe is the driving force behind the change of those seasons. Whatever the rationale, I’m riding this wave for all it is worth from the lucky position of never having suffered from hay fever!!

I am more than ready for some colour to re-enter my world. Here’s some early Spring Sydney colour that I captured over the last week together with a shot of the big bath tub that was our waveless beach.

Awakening

Renewal

Regeneration

Promise

It means that T-shirt, shorts and sandals weather is just around the corner together with cooking and entertaining outdoors. Goodbye hibernation, hello interactive community!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you have a favourite flower? What colours in nature draw your eye? When was the last time you had an almost child-like sense of anticipation?

 

 

Paying The Blog Love FAward

I bet you thought there was a typo in my blog heading. No typo dear blog readers but a new blogging term:

FAward – the act of passing on valued blog awards distributed by talented and worthy bloggers to other talented and worthy bloggers.

I have to confess that I feel a bit sheepish accepting these awards as I haven’t been blogging much lately. It’s not for want of desire, just that “stuff” gets in the way and the creative process is always the first to suffer. Isn’t it amazing how our thoughts determine through which pair of glasses we are going to view the world on any given day? Currently, I have my serious glasses on and I am using them to try to locate my humorous pair. Thankfully, I can still shoot out the odd quip or two in comment time, but to sustain an 800 word humorous post is proving a little harder.

Whilst I love the serious wisdom posts and thinking and writing about the bigger philosophical questions in life, I think I like myself better when I’m funny.  I envy those who know the flavour of what they are going to consistantly deliver through their blog on any given day. Me, I’m still hopelessly conflicted, although it is a nice conflict to have.

But, onto business!

A big

THANK YOU

to the following talented and worthy bloggers who have seen fit to bestow upon me the following blog awards:

Bohemianspiritedmom awarded me the Lovely Blog Award. Bohemianspiritedmom blogs at the blog of the same name and is a kindred spirit in the teen parenting journey. Her blog is amusing and full of joie de vivre and a delight to read.

Magnolia Beginnings who blogs at the blog of the same name awarded me the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Magnolia’s blog conveys a journey, one of discovery and fulfilling your dreams. It is courageous and wise just like its author and also serves as an inspiration to me. Leave your regrets at the door to this blog and hop aboard to share Magnolia’s journey.

My MidLife Mayhem who blogs at My Midlife Mayhem awarded me the Beautiful Blogger Award. Midlife Mayhem’s blog is about the journey through the ages of 35 to 50 and the reprogramming required as we make the adjustment from physical strength to mental beauty. Feeling the solidarity with my fellow Beautiful Blogger. I am floored that Midlife Mayhem chose to include me in a list of recipients for this award which included the Bloggess!

There are certain rules to accepting these awards, including outlining a number of facts about myself. Here are seven titillating facts about me that you never really wanted to know:

  1. I think peanut butter is the bomb – especially this new whipped stuff. Light as air and doesn’t stick to the roof of your mouth!
  2. I don’t like cold weather and have a heater grate pattern permanently imprinted on my butt during winter.
  3. I have a really small family. There is a trend of only children throughout my family tree which I was mad keen to break with my own brood. Luckily God blessed me with two wonderful boys.
  4. I’m a tomboy at heart and am totally lost with eyeshadow and foundation. I can manage a daily smear of lipstick and a couple of brushes of blusher, but as for the rest, it’s either nothing or total drag queen.
  5. My motto is when all else fails rely on humour and be sure to make your own everyday. It’s a good day when you have made at least one person laugh.
  6. I have been to all States of Australia except for Tasmania. Tasmania is naturally beautiful and cold and one day maybe…
  7. Wunderlust is my weakness and I always want to go to new places and experience new things beyond my front fence. I can’t help but think the world awaits and I need to capitalise on its beauty before something really prevents me from doing so.

And now for the good stuff, paying these awards FAward. I am aware that some of these blogs may be non award blogs and in those cases please just take this as my way of thanking you for allowing me to enter your world a little every day and for touching me with your words:

Human in Recovery – thanks Kina for sharing your journey

Free Penny Press – Lynne’s pot pourri of interesting projects, concepts and musings

Fifty Four and A Half – if I could just bottle Elyse’s spunk, wit and energy!

The Bucket – GOF’s blog containing humour, poetry and snipets of rural Australian life

Musings of and Old Fart – the blog of a scholar and a gentleman (btg5885) with a clever wit and a big heart

Waiting for the Karma Truck – Mimi’s beautiful blog which is wise, funny, kind and giving and makes me think and smile at the same time

Magsx2’s blog – Mags is a fellow Aussie and blogs about well…. anything!

Buckwheatrisk – Zoe’s courageous and raw blog about dealing with the aftermath of child abuse. My admiration for Zoe in writing about this publicly is immense.

All of these blogs are awarded all three awards. If you take the time to visit some or all of these, you will not be disappointed.

OK now time for the post award speech nosh up. Salute!

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Let’s Phlog Monday: Showcasing the Scrapography Talent Of Toni Legates

A slightly later than usual Let’s Phlog Monday, but still posted on a Monday evening for all my readers waaaay over there.

I am more than a little bit excited about my post today because I have the opportunity of showcasing someone else’s amazing talent. It’s a real joy discovering something just a little bit different and having the channel to share it.

We live in a wonderful age where despite all of its sins technology has opened up a whole realm of possibility and connection beyond our front fence. I had the good fortune to meet up with a North American talented photographer and digital scrapbooker, Toni Legates, through technology and a mutual friend.  Toni’s work runs the gamut from pure scrapbooking to visual melded design incorporating photography and scrapbooking. Put simply, I love her designs and I wanted to share a sampling with you.

Toni’s work moves beyond the realm of the obvious and incorporates a level of depth and dimension that is a feast to the senses. Every piece is meaningful and relevant. Every piece is a testament to designing talent.

Toni says “I’ve never worked in film photography.  My first camera was a digital point & shoot.  When I loaded the first photos I would take with this little low resolution camera I was instantly transported into a world of possibility.  I also discovered I had much to learn.  Shortly after realizing I could  make magic with my camera I found a free open source, editing program called GIMP and set out teaching myself how to use it.  Then it happened, I saw my first scrapbooking layout and knew that somehow I was home!  Not only could I take and edit beautiful images but I could greatly increase their impact by creating a layout that helped tell the story of my photos.  After teaching myself how to scrapbook and confidently putting those skills to use, I began looking around online at wonderful quotes and sayings that had deep meaning for me.  Those words inspired me to create my own spin on them creating something not only uplifting but beautiful to look at.  Every photo and every quote speaks to me and tells me what it wants to become visually.”

Please sit back and enjoy the work of Toni Legates straight from Toni’s digital darkroom.

A masthead for the blog, Love is An Action Verb:

Love is An Action Verb – design by Toni Legates

A highly stylized image with added artistic design elements to give a real piercing effect:

Nita’s Beaming Eye – photo and design by Toni Legates

A clever digital meld of two photos, which I am calling Smoke On The Water. A case of seek and you shall find?

Photo by Toni Legates

A digital scrapbooking montage of the quote Listening Heart:

Listening Heart – design by Toni Legates

You can find a further example of Toni’s work in my A to Z April Blogging Challenge post, O is for Orchard: Finding the Sweet Success of Life.

Toni’s designs leave an impression and I have carried them with me long after the first sighting. I hope you enjoy this magical mystical tour through Toni’s dark room and I can’t wait to see what new designs emerge from its depths in the future.

And now for the question of the day, is scrapbooking an action verb?

7 Blue Ribbon Events of the Parenteen Olympics

Here’s the first post from the she shed. I haven’t actually found a she shed, but if I had, this is the post I would write.

We are almost at the start of the closing ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games and what a two weeks it has been. Such skill, stamina and athleticism – and that’s just from the spectators – what time is it again? Australia has now managed to scrape together five six gold medals as our swim team went MIA. Hard lesson learned for said swim team, namely that social media, hubris and swimming don’t mix. Ouch!

The Olympics have however inspired me to look around and recognise skill, stamina and athleticism in my everyday life. So, let’s light the cauldron, release the peace doves, sing “Hey Jude” and celebrate the 7 blue ribbon events of the Parenteen Olympics!

Event 1 – Synchronised Finding: parents compete to find their teen’s missing items whilst tackling various obstacle courses such as teen rooms, drawers and wardrobes, dirty clothes piles and pockets. Five points for each item found. Bonus points are awarded for really small items and those which have not seen the light of day for at least two weeks. Triple bonus points are awarded for essential items that are required to be found in the five minutes before the teen rushes out the door.

Event 2 – Rhythmic Gum Snapping: teens compete to scare the living crap out of their parents by loudly popping gum at random times. Bonus points are awarded for pops  sounding like cars backfiring made at critical times during television shows their parents are watching in the same room.

Event 3 – Pantry/Fridge Hockey: teens compete to rearrange their parent’s pantry/fridge in the usually useless quest to find something to eat and in the hope that by staring at the items long enough they might change into something inspiring. Each of the  panel of five international judges gives a score out of 10 for the following categories:

    • most vacant stare and bored stance
    • most number of trips to the pantry/fridge in a sixty minute time span
    • most number of items moved each trip
    • loudest whine of “there is nothing to eat”

Points are awarded for each item of food actually removed from the fridge or pantry and there is an increased degree of difficulty for foods that have to be heated, peeled or spread.

Event 4 – Laundry Hamper Basketball: teens compete to throw dirty laundry into the hamper much like conventional basketball. There is a three-point line and points are deducted if any item from a flying bundle lands next to the hamper or if the laundry hamper is broken after a particularly forceful slam dunk.

Event 5 – Teenage Habitat Hurdles: parents compete to retrieve selected items  such as used drinking glasses and gum wrappers from their teen’s room battling obstacle courses made of piles clothes, paper and general “stuff”. This is a timed event and the quickest out the door wins. Points are deducted for touching any of the piles, cleaning up or for failing to make it out of the room altogether.

Event 6 – Bathroom Use Marathon: teens compete to spend as much time in the bathroom as possible during peak times with the object of causing maximum inconvenience to other family members. Teens will be judged on the length of their shower (the longer the better), the amount of product applied to their body (shampoo deodorant, gel or makeup or preferably all four for maximum degree of difficulty points) and poses/stances made before the mirror. Scores are awarded out of ten by a panel of judges much like gymnastics.

Event 7 – Electronic Gadget Decathlon: teens compete for the ultimate Parenteen Olympics event in which the winner is the athlete who uses  the highest number of electronic gadgets at the same time. Permitted gadgets include televisions, laptops, I-Pads, smart phones and gaming consoles. Simultaneous use must be sustained for at least one continuous minute. Hernia prevention belts  may be worn.

Let’s celebrate our inner athlete and enjoy our pride of place on the winner’s podium. Medals are awarded on the earlier of the teen turning 21 or moving out of home.

Have you been in training for the Parenteen Olympics? Do you have a favourite event? Are you or do you know a champion of any of the events?

Award ribbon image and image of sporting figures courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

Avoid Losing The Most Precious of Things – You

In my last post I advocated for the practice of ethical hedonism and noted that mothers owed it to themselves and those around them to indulge just a little. Preferably, they should do this without guilt. You can read about my views on hedonism here.

In that post I referred to the “intense stage of mothering young dependant children” and how emerging from it was one of the factors that lead me to my current views on hedonism. In their comments to my post, my blogging buddies at Grown and Flown, also reinforced the importance of that emergence and by doing so gave me the idea for this blog post. Thank you ladies!

There is no doubt that emerging from that phase (which I will call the Emergence in this post) was a game changer for me, although I never realised it at the time.

Like most new mothers I really had no idea going in just how intense mothering young children would be. Up until the point of the birth of my first child, I never had the opportunity to be around young children and certainly didn’t seek them out. However,  the motion picture of my life in my head always included children and so it came to pass. Within a month of deciding to fall pregnant I fell well and truly down the mothering rabbit hole and came across all manner of interesting tea party guests and situations that I had never before encountered.

I remember the very early days, sleep deprived and racked with guilt about not breast-feeding, feeling totally inadequate amongst the mess that was my house. I remember how I latched onto every progressive variation to baby routine like a starving woman and recounted to the Italian Stallion how the high point in my day was baby graduating from 60 mls of formula for every feed to 90 mls. Then there were the toddler years, when baby was all ability, no common sense and when one’s watching and listening skills are honed to perfection. Then it was onto the daycare and school years where your life became a dance to the starting and finishing times of these fine institutions.

Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of great times too and the rewards of parenting are some of the finest in life. I wouldn’t change the rhythm of my life for anything. However the above is the reality of mothering young children and it’s more than permissible to admit that it is hard work and that some days are just about survival.

“What did you do today, dear?”

“We survived with all body parts intact. World peace will just have to wait until tomorrow”

However, little did I know that the focus I put into parenting my young children, whilst pursuing a high-powered career and being a wife and daughter came with a cost. After all, everything you do is worth doing to the best of your abilities, right?  Naturally, you want the very best for your children, and you think that the very best is giving yourself completely and utterly over to the task. At least I did.

At the point of Emergence I felt rather pleased about some of the time I had regained. Time back for myself to do the little things I had put on the back burner for the past fifteen years. A few months after Emergence I was still trying to remember what those little things were and finally discovered the cost of all my “doing”. In putting my needs last and feeling guilty about indulging in a little daily hedonism during those years I had unknowingly eroded my most important relationship, namely with myself.

The human race is fond of labelling. We tend to spend a lot of time and effort pursuing high status labels. I knew I was a wife, mother, career woman and daughter. But beyond that? Who was I and who did I want to be? It’s only by answering these questions, that we are to find the path forward.

This is not to say I lay the blame solely at the feet of mothering. My Emergence was a real point of convergence – where Emergence meets middle age, meets searching for a more meaningful existence, meets career questioning. Everyone’s life path is different and points of convergence will vary.

I have a sense that finding the answers will take some time. Much like weight loss –  most of us gain weight through years of bad habits and then expect overnight miracles from our diets. It just isn’t going to happen. And there will be interruptions and glitches along the way.

So that’s why I advocate balance and a little measured pleasure. It helps you remain connected with who you are and your aspirations. I really hope that anyone involved with the concerns of others can take something away from today’s post. Giving yourself over to the cause is important, but remember YOU are a worthy cause as well.

So hello world, I’m just Judy and I like exploring but dislike labels. I also happen to be a mother, wife and daughter, an occasional humourist and blogger.

I’d love to hear how you describe yourself by taking it back to the most basic, without labels in the comment section below. Help us to get to know you.

Elephant and rock man images courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

Should Hedonism Be The New Black?

I read a terrific article on the weekend in our local newspaper – yes of the paper variety, remember paper fibre? – entitled “Days of Decadence”. It centered around the question of whether indulging in pleasure for pleasure’s sake can be good for you.

It opened up with the statement that fun is what you do when you are in your twenties and that traditionally hedonistic behaviour – long lunches, late nights, drinking too much, taking drugs and sex – is not considered healthy. The article further states that whilst hedonism, defined in the Oxford Dictionary as the “pursuit of pleasure: sensual self-indulgence”, tends to be frowned upon and signifies a lack of self discipline, its pursuit may just have its place.

I am here to advocate for a little hedonism for those of us in midlife and to make it the new midlife black. Like that little black dress in the back of the closet that you put on every once in a while and which makes you feel like a million bucks when you wear it. The secret of course is to not wear it every day, but as a wonderful indulgence, even when there is no special occasion.

I absolutely refuse to concede that having fun is what you do only in your twenties. Fun is not the sole province of youth, fun is ageless and timeless and more importantly, it is a state of mind, much like age. Most things can be fun and pleasurable if you approach it with the right attitude (OK maybe not root canal or certain medical procedures, except if you are a health professional). Personally, my sense of fun has increased with age and probably has a lot to do with increased confidence and wisdom, loosening up, mellowing out and emerging from that intense stage of having young dependant children. The promise of new, exciting and challenging experiences is heady and every day has the possibility of adventure. There will be plenty of time to lie down when I am six feet under.

Does this mean I am not self disciplined? I am not buying that puppy. Hedonism does not need to be unplanned or extreme. It can be as simple as having a long lunch in the sun, swimming, eating at a fine restaurant, blogging, travelling to new destinations, dancing, listening to music, sleeping in or reading in bed. It is about a little piece of personal freedom and doing the things you love. I advocate ethical hedonism, hedonism without living a harmful life. The key as always is balance and common sense.

I always feel a little bemused when people make comments like “I wasted half a day, I didn’t get out of bed until midday.” To which my response is: “And the problem is……?” Fair enough, if you don’t get out of bed before midday as means of regularly shirking responsibility or avoiding reality. But really, what’s wrong with getting out of bed at midday on a weekend morning, particularly when it’s cold, dark and raining outside after you have been working all week or even if it’s not? What’s wrong with sitting around talking, sharing, reading and laughing whilst the dirty dishes from last night’s dinner are sitting in the sink? That hour or two of bonding is enough to keep you going for weeks and give you plenty of energy and motivation to tackle any amount of dirty dishes, dirty laundry and other associated housework. Why are we conditioned to think that every activity must produce a tangible, positive result or be progress towards a goal?

Engaging in ethical hedonism is not only permitted, but I suggest, should be mandatory. Those who think that life is solely about obligations and achievement are missing out. Life is also about pleasure, the dolce vita and we should not feel guilty about the occasional indulgence. Mothers please take note, you owe it to yourselves and those around you to indulge just a little.

Let us not wake up one morning and think that today is going to be THE day only to discover our health and abilities compromised. Tomorrow may never come and those of us at midlife need to balance out living for tomorrow with our capabilities of today. So come and join me and practice a little ethical hedonism every now and again. You never know, it may even give you a longer, happier life.

Viva La Ethical Hedonism Revolution!

Do you have any little indulgences that keep you going? Is blogging one of them? If so, please share them with us. Do you agree that a little ethical hedonism is essential to a happy life?

Have A Personal Olympic Story? Why Yes, I Do…

More than three decades ago, I graduated from primary school. Not sure what the North American equivalent is called, elementary school or middle school perhaps? Here in Australia, primary school is generally schooling between the ages of 8 and 11. In my State, high school starts at the age of 12.

We have only had one primary school reunion in all those years and to be honest, it was a little bit like entering the twilight zone. Not sure what made me feel like this, perhaps it was the amount of time that had passed since graduation, perhaps it was the intervening high school years and the notion that high school generally brings more memories or meaningful experiences. Whatever it was, it felt somewhat bizarre seeing my primary school mates after more than twenty years and talking about marriage, kids, divorce and careers. Perhaps because there were no blunt ended scissors, glue, coloured pencils in the middle of the table or dangerously low hanging projects strung up by pegs hanging from the ceiling.

As part of the festivities we were asked to fill out a questionnaire. Most of the questions were unremarkable, but there was one that I have carried with me. It is a fairly innocuous question, but I felt confronted by it. Coming away from the reunion, I felt under pressure to have an experience where I could answer the question in the affirmative. The question was:

Have You Ever Attended A World Event?

By that stage, I had given birth twice, had career success, was still married to my first and only, was a dutiful daughter and wife who almost brokered world household peace. Was this not enough? Did I have to attend a world event as well?

Well yes, because it would be memorable and fun and newsworthy and something that no-one could take away. It would also put me in good stead for any future school reunions with tricky questionnaires, not to mention future bridge parties with the girls (for when I get old – ha!).

It was therefore wonderfully fortunate that my city won the right to host the 2000 Olympics. I remember awakening at 3.00am to watch the then president of the IOC, Juan Antiono Samaranch utter the immortal words “and the winner is…. Sydernee”. Really, he said “Sydernee” and the expression has gone down in our city folklore. That announcement made sometime prior to 1995 heralded the start of my own personal Olympic story and journey to a world event.

We watched as Sydney Olympic Park was developed, the main stadium, satellite stadiums built and Olympic infrastructure installed. We heard stories about the supposed crowds and traffic and people renting their house for the Olympic period for exorbitant sums. We were inundated with cheap travel offers to exotic destinations to tempt us out of the city. We watched as they painted the blue line for the marathon runners in the next suburb and we watched the torch relay as it swept through. We saved money, entered ballots and queued to obtain tickets. Leave the city during the Olympics? Not this girl! The world coming to our laid-back doorstep and the prospect of watching Olympic events at a reasonable time, rather than in the middle of the night was an opportunity too good to pass up.

I can honestly say, attending the Sydney 2000 Olympics was one of my finest experiences. We ended up attending the opening ceremony, velodrome cycling events and athletics. But more importantly than the events themselves, for the fortnight of the Olympics our city was enveloped in a blanket of goodwill and cheer. The mood was incredible. Locals wanted to put their best face on to the world and exuded friendliness and tolerance. The city was clean and traffic almost non-existent. Public transport ran on time and business took a holiday. Carefree was in the air and the news was positive. The politicians stopped playing politics and everyone just seemed happy. In a word, utopia. And let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing like hearing your national anthem played on the world stage in your home city.

I can well imagine what London, Londoners and indeed all of England must be feeling right now. Five years is a long anticipatory haul, but the fruits of London’s Olympic labours are about to be laid bare for the world to see. And the world will watch and for the first time will Facebook and Tweet at unprecedented levels.

So yes, I have been to a world event, some would say THE world event. I have my sights set on a World Cup Soccer event, World Series Final (although it is debatable whether this is a true world event), a Rio Mardi Gras and perhaps the Tomatina festival in Spain in the future.

In the meantime, I have set my alarm clock for 5.30am tomorrow morning to watch the opening ceremony. I have reread my herding teenagers post and am armed and ready to wake them so we watch it together to continue a family tradition. Here’s to two weeks of this given our unforgiving timezone!

Would you want to go the Olympics? Have you been? Have you attended a world event? What Olympic moments are you looking forward to?