Today I Give Myself Permission to Yodel In Yiddish #atozchallenge

This is my penultimate post for the Challenge. And because it is the penultimate post I have decided to throw a permissions party and combine whimsy, weirdness, originality, curiosity and all the self-acceptance I can muster in this one post. Please note that normal introspective transmission will resume for tomorrow’s final Challenge post.

I, for one have never yodeled in Yiddish, but if I did, I know what I would call the musical, Leaderhozen On the Roof

Why yodeling? It is a much friendlier blog option than yelling or yelping and if I did either of those, I would be riddled with guilt. And we all know what mixing guilt and Yiddish can do. Just think George Costanza’s mother and Seinfeld.

Yiddish is a such a rich language and has brought us some extremely useful sounding words and expressions which have found their way into our daily vernacular. It also seems to me that Yiddish is such an economical language, designating one consonant rich word to a concept that would take a whole sentence to articulate in English. It’s one of those languages that you can throw your whole face into.

Here are some of my favorites including some words that I have always used and only just discovered originate from Yiddish:

bupkes – said to be related to the Polish word for “beans” but it really means “goat droppings” or “horse droppings.” It is used to connote the concept of nothing, disappointment or a small amount. “There are some days when I spent a lot of time thinking of a blogging concept and came up with bubkes”
chutzpah – courage, brazenness, nerve, courage or confidence. “He who hath participated in the A to Z Challenge has Chutzpah”
glitch – a minor problem or error. “Your modem crashing out during the A to Z Challenge is more than just a glitch”
klutz – literally means “a block of wood,” so it’s often used for a dense, clumsy or awkward person. “

“To have missed providing an example sentence for this word the first time around makes me a klutz or a schlemiel or both!”

nosh – to nibble; a light snack. “You will have more time for noshing once you have finished the A to Z Challenge”
nu – a versatile word to get someone’s attention and can mean “So?” “Huh?” “Well?” “What’s up?” or “Hello?”. “Nu, dude”
oy vey – exclamation of dismay, grief, or exasperation. “There are 26 posts to write in the A to Z Challenge – oy vey!”
shlep – to drag, traditionally something you don’t really need; to carry unwillingly. “In the lead up to the A to Z Challenge, I shleped around my notebook and pen in case a wild bout of inspiration hit me”
shlemiel – clumsy, inept person. “Laverne and Shirley both used “shlemiel” in the opening credits of their show”
schlock – cheap. “I write schlocky poetry for fun but I restrained myself during the A to Z Challenge”
shmaltzy – excessively sentimental, gushing, flattering, over-the-top, corny. From shmaltz, which means chicken fat or grease. “Schmaltzy movies are best watched with close friends, so you can out-shcmaltz one another”
shmooze – chat, make small talk, trying to impress.”The A to Z Challenge is a great vehicle for schmoozing with other bloggers”
schmuck – often used as an insulting word for a self-made fool, but you shouldn’t use it in polite company at all, since it refers to male anatomy. Now there’s something I didn’t know. “I am sure I have made a schmuck of myself with this post”
spiel – a set sales pitch. From the German word for play. “All of the A to Z Challenge convenors have a great spiel for why you should be involved in the Challenge”
shtick – something you’re known for doing, an entertainer’s routine, an actor’s bit, stage business, routine. “My schtick for the A to Z Challenge was to give myself permission to be who I was meant to be”

Definitions prepared with assistance from dailwritingtips.com.

How many of these words do you use and never knew were Yiddish? Do you have any other Yiddish favourites? Have you worn leaderhozen before?

Today I give myself permission to yodel in Yiddish becuase I’ve never tried it before and it’s the second last day of the Challenge.

Today I Give Myself Permission to Appreciate Whimsy #atozchallenge

Today I received a sign! There I was researching my whimsy post with the TV on in the background, tuned to Big Bang Theory. Not two minutes later Sheldon uttered the line

What’s life without whimsy?

What indeed, Sheldon.

Those silly little things that make you chuckle, that lift your spirits, that you do for no reason other than to put a smile on your face, that’s whimsy.

Not so long ago a friend and I visited Wombeyan Caves. I blogged about it just before the Challenge started. After we came out of the caves, my friend spotted a slippery slide and went for it. Never mind that she was a middle-aged woman, the pure joy on her face as she went down was incredibly uplifting. That’s whimsy.

Autumn Leaf in Nagasaki (Photo credit: Marufish)

Walking through a pile of Autumn leaves, throwing them in the air, having a leaf fight. That’s whimsy.

Crawling into a bed of freshly laundered sheets. That’s whimsy.

Sitting in the garden with the warm sun on your back, reading. That’s whimsy.

Sneaking out of the office to briefly feel wind on your face. That’s whimsy.

Cracking up at silly jokes and sayings. That’s whimsy.

Listening to the whole top 100 countdown of karaoke songs. That’s whimsy.

Engaging in the following conversation with my teen son is whimsy

Me: the bed man is coming to deliver the mattress today. You’ll have to let him in and pay him the delivery fee

Him: Mffmfwffm

Me: It means you’ll need to hear the doorbell and open the door

Him: Mrrffmrmmm

Me: You will let him in won’t you and not miss it?

Him: Nerf (At last the sign of a neuron firing)

Me: Ok, I’ve spoken to the mattress man and he’s coming between 11.30am and 2.30pm. Please make sure you are in the room closest to the door from about 11am

Him: I get it, Mum

Text from him at midday: It’s arrived, it’s in, he’s paid, all good

Text from me: Thank you my child. I have taught you well. You can go back to your day now, normal transmission can resume.

Text from him (1): Mum, don’t be weird.

Text from him (2): That’s my job.

Which leads us to another great W permission, to be weird. I practice it daily. I’d worry greatly if my children didn’t think I was weird, it’s my job and frankly my privilege to be so. We laugh at all our ~~wierdness~~ uniqueness. Every family has their own brand. Which leads us to the final W word of the day. Wonderful.

God said let there be whimsy and there was and it was wonderful.

Image courtesy of Zazzle.com.au

Today I give myself permission to be whimsical and just a little weird.

Today I Give Myself Permission to be Vulnerable #atozchallenge

There is no doubt that I have been on a journey to accept vulnerability, for to understand vulnerability and cease fearing it requires maturity, wisdom and insight.

Coinciding with a lightbulb moment along this journey, I discovered the wonderful work of Brene Brown. Brene calls herself a storyteller/researcher and for the past decade she has studied the concept of vulnerability. You can read more about her work at her website, here. In 2010 Brene presented her landmark talk on the power of vulnerability at the annual TED conference and the video has since had more than nine million hits. You can find it here.

Brene’s presentation confirmed much of what I had come to understand about my own vulnerability.

I’m not sure where it came from, for my father was not particularly macho, but my firm belief up until my late thirties was that vulnerability represented weakness and was to be avoided at all costs. I suppose hand in hand with that philosophy was that if connections happened then all well and good, but essentially that was only a bi-product of getting a job done. This worked for me for about a decade and a half as I focused my energies in making it in the business world. Looking back at that time, it worked because I backed my business skills and didn’t feel any real risk in putting those skills out there. I knew I was the real deal and had the goods to prove it.

But, and this is a big but, it’s not what I was doing in my personal life. For some reason, I didn’t back myself in that sphere, spent a lot of time seeking approval and my personal connections suffered. So having woken up I went on a quest to strengthen my existing personal connections and to better understand how to make succesful connections. As Brene says in the video, humans are hard-wired for connection, it gives purpose and meaning to our lives. To show you how far I have come, I have no shame in admiting I had little clue about connections back then. Those I had were principally because the other people were great connectors and to them I am eternally grateful for deciding to invest in me and for teaching me about vulnerability.

I now know and understand that to connect you have to make yourself vulnerable. You have to go forth in the world with your authentic self without any guarantee that you will be accepted and not get hurt. Authenticity was never the issue, but rather the making of the first move. I have since come to understand that not everyone will accept you, but if they do not then firstly, it says more about them than you and secondly, these experiences teach you courage.

Type A alpha personalities have never been at the top of my list. Although probably a gross over generalisation, most alphas I have encountered are quite scared underneath. This results in some undesirable behaviours and the energy required to keep up the alpha front must be tremendous. Give me a guy or girl with a quiet strength who is not afraid to show their vulnerability or who is prepared to make themselves vulnerable by acknowledging the contribution of others and I’ll take them any day of the week over the alpha types. To me there is an attractiveness in vulnerability, probably because it comes from a place of authenticity rather than bravado. Vulnerability speaks and is an ingredient of commonality. How many times have you been in a situation where you have been introduced to someone and once you get talking they admit to some small imperfection or action that was ineffective and you immediately feel closer to that person? I have many times, for usually I think if he or she sounds too good to be true, he or she probably is.

In her video, Brene mentions the struggle with vulnerability and that most people deal with it by numbing their emotions. The problem as she points out is that you can’t selectively just numb the bad emotions, by numbing you end up muting joy, gratitude and happiness as well. And how do we numb? As Brene points out we do it by:

trying to make the uncertain, certain – think religion and politics
perfecting, for example our bodies, our children – our job as parents is not to give them a perfect life, but to prepare them to deal with an imperfect life
pretending that what we do does not affect others

I have since chosen to be prepared to make the first move in forming a connection, without any guarantee of success. I’d rather chance a negetive response than become comfortable in my disconnectedness. I’d also rather chance the relationship ending than never having the opportunity to have it in the first place.

I therefore choose risk, mess and vulnerability and by doing so I choose to add grey and colour to my life over only black and white and feeling over numbness.

Today, I give myself permission to be vulnerable.

Today I Give Myself Permission to Unplug #atozchallenge

Time for a permission that is a little less etherial and perfect for the letter U. Vowels are always the hardest letters of the Challenge for me and here we are at the last one!

The topic for today’s post was inspired by a conversation I had with a colleague this afternoon. Tomorrow is a public holiday here as Australians and New Zealanders celebrate ANZAC Day. On this day we commemorate all those who have served and are serving in our armed forces and support services. Falling on a Thursday, many people have taken Friday as a holiday making it a four day weekend. Conversing with my colleague she mentioned her plans for Friday to relax and indicated she would probably log on and check in to work that day.

I’m not sure how checking work emails is relaxing, but I suppose there are stranger ways to relax. Some people clean and cook for example. Who am I to judge?

The advent of Smartphones and other mobile devices have meant that we are constantly plugged in. We are getting to the stage where the priciest piece of real estate at any airport will soon be the five metre square radius around the charging pole.

Earlier on in the Challenge I gave myself permission to be curious and I wrote how I had returned to postgraduate studies at university. Talk about falling down the technological rabbit hole. Technology has made a huge difference to study practices. Free WIFI and charging outlets everywhere! Need to look up a website the lecturer is referring to in real time? No problem and to someone of my young years, that’s amazing!

So, I’m sitting in the lecture theatre looking around observing the sweet young Gen Y things and how they interact with technology. Sometimes the only way an old dog can learn a new trick is to scout. This is what I have learned so far:

it is possible to complete a university degree by never taking a hand written note. PEN: noun, definition: a prehistoric writing implement filled with ink, that can be converted to a pea shooter or juggling device when owner suffers a chronic case of boredom.
the lecturer actually announced at the start of the lecture series that students should take notes as the assessment will be based on writing and note taking builds skills in that area. Writing is THAT novel, is it?!?
there is a considerable proportion of the Gen Y student body in that lecture that NEVER look up from their screens. Not once, the whole lecture. I wonder if the lecturer ever notices. Must be some real entertaining stuff on Facebook or maybe the web cam is getting a great work out. Or they could be reading the assigned material after all, these guys REALLY know who to multi-task.

No doubt about it, technology has revolutionised education, social interactions, news distribution, communication and a whole lot of other things too. Everything at your fingertips only a few clicks away.

But does this mean we have to stay plugged in all the time?

Work emails on the weekends and after hours when I don’t have to be “on”. Not even tempted. Weekends and after hours are for family, regeneration and reorienting our perspectives so that we can perform again the following week. Weekends are for reading the weekend papers, breathing fresh air and getting stuff done.

Social media, blogging and surfing the net, yes daily first thing in the morning and last thing at night. But if I don’t check in, that’s OK too. Recently, I removed the Facebook App off my phone and it has been a really positive move. There’s only so many cat pictures and pictures of doctors who will operate when they hit 10,000 likes one can handle. I don’t feel I’m missing out by not checking Facebook ten times a day.

Being involved in a face to face conversation and hearing the mobile phone ring? I never pick up. Having made the effort to get together we each deserve the other’s full attention. The biggest compliment you can pay someone in this day and age is to give them your FULL attention.

Technology is a fantastic supplement to real life. The world is amazing and technology provides a window to it.

However, at the end of the day it is a tool. It is not a real life substitute.

The Gen Y and Gen Z gods and goddesses will no doubt heap a load of thunderbolts at my head for that sacrilege.

Do you struggle with technology usage? How to you see technology fitting in to your life?

Today I give myself permission to unplug.

Today I Give Myself Permission to Trust #atozchallenge

Trust is a five letter word. I suppose it could have been a four letter word, but then it would have been RUST and we probably all have enough of that.

We have all probably also had enough of deception and of pain when our trust in someone or something has been broken. I know I have.

And yet…

The idea of never trusting again holds little appeal. For trust is an essential ingredient to connecting on more than a superficial level. It begins in childhood with the whole ‘I”ll show you mine, if you show me yours” concept and evolves as we mature to “I’ll share with you mine, if you share with me yours”. And when there’s true sharing, the trust and the endorphins flow. Trust is a cornerstone of not only social relationships but also of business relationships as embodied in notions such as the trusted advisor and the trustee steed. Where would the Loan Ranger have been without Silver? Possibly Hi Hoed, but very much stationary.

Trusting means opening up your life so that others can enter. As the saying goes, a life without trust is the ultimate prison. And I truly believe this. Storming the Bastille can be hard and unforgiving work.

So, today I give myself permission to:

Trust the moment…

…for worry never solved anything and only gives you frown lines

Trust in God…

…all others must pay cash

Trust my instincts…

…because my tummy tells me so

Trust in Ellen…

…because she says funny stuff like “People always ask me “Were you funny as a child? Well, no, I was an accountant.” And child accountants are very trustworthy not to mention, funny

Trust the path I’m on…

…or that I have the ability to switch to another one if it turns out to be a deadend

Trust in my authenticity…

…because keeping it real is the cornerstone of connection

Trust the internet bloggers…

…to provide some creative quality distraction.

Today I Give Myself Permission to Release #atozchallenge

Remember the words of the Englebert Humperdinck classing Release Me?

Please release me, let me go

My mother used to sing these words aloud as I was growing up. I think they were the only words of that song she knew, because I don’t recall any others. And I don’t recall her singing them to my father. They eventually ended up being married for over 60 years, so I am putting her singing down to her liking the song or Englebert Humperdinck or simply the name “Humperdinck”. What’s not to love about that name, after all? Perhaps Englebert had a fondness for pumpernickel. They just don’t pseudonym like they used to. Can you imagine that today he would probably be called Hdink E. Just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

Today, I want to explore the concept of releasing or letting go. Usually we think of this in the context of negative issues. Regret, anger, frustration, resentment, regret and pain are all obvious candidates. Left bottled inside any one of these can colour our perceptions, drive our behaviours and limit our potential. It really saddens me when people I know limit themselves in this way. Most of us struggle to acquire the “goods”. These are the qualities and characteristics needed to be succesful, whatever the concept of success may mean to us. However, when you see someone who objectively has the goods, but is stuck because they are limited by the negative emotions they harbour, it’s heart breaking. I suppose it means the answers are clear to us, but not to them. Funny how it’s so much easier to solve other people’s problems than our own and funny how so many people mask their inability and unwillingness to solve or deal with their own issues by trying to save others.

Then there’s bitterness. I recently discovered a fantastic quote from Clarissa Pinkola Estes” book Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life when a woman has to make a decision – possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point when they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out”. Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. There may be broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.”

This really resonates with me for I felt I had reached this point in my mid forties. Except when I reached it, I didn’t know that feeling this way was common. I spent a couple of years not letting that bitterness

picture courtesy of
freedigitalphotos.net

go, carrying resentment and trying to push through. And all this while I was quietly beating myself about feeling the way I felt – after all, I had all the same good people and creature comforts around me, so I must be the problem, right? Then I started to release, firstly by talking to some close friends about what I was feeling, then by reading and researching and then by letting go of the feeling that I was cornered and stuck. Sounds a bit dramatic, I know, but I just couldn’t see my way through to the fix. The way I finally got through the feelings was to release the complexity, by dealing with one thing at a time, rather than solving everything at once, By doing it this way, the road became clearer. Then I released my passion for things that had long laid dormant or had never been explored, for example writing, dancing, bushwalking and blogging. And then most importantly I released myself and hubby from any blame. The situation was no-one’s fault, it just was and it was normal for this stage of life.

And this is why release is also important. It’s important to share these stories so that people who are or will experience these emotions do not feel they are alone. It is one of the worst feelings in the world to think that you are the only one going through something or that you are walking alone.

Finally, release can also encompass the positive. Releasing passion, laughter, generosity, creativity and inclusion are just as important. For everyone around us is our mirror.

It is worth thinking about what feelings and vibes you release.

Now, that’s all behind me and the future is looking bright indeed. What was a curse is now very much a blessing and no marriages or promises were broken in the writing of this chapter of our lives. What’s more, far from being cornered or stuck, I now feel increadibly free. Any pain involved in release has been worth it.

Today I give myself permission to release. Aaaaaaagh!

Today I Give Myself Permission to Question #atozchallenge

This permission may sound somewhat similar to my C permission which was to be curious. But it’s not. Whilst there might be some overlap, given it always important to ask questions to understand extrinsic factors and events, I believe questioning as somewhat different to curiosity, Questioning has more of an element of the intrinsic and is more about testing personal assumptions and long held beliefs.

There are things in life we all just want to do by rote. Tieing shoe laces, using a telephone, brushing teeth and walking are a few examples. The amount of mental energy we wish to expend on these activities is minimal because that way we can save it for the good stuff. Washing hands used to also be one of these activities until the nasty union of tap manufacturers decided to get together and make most modern taps in public washrooms an IQ test! There’s nothing worse than standing in front of a basin with hands that need washing in a state of confusion trying to find something to turn or press to make the magical water appear only to be faced with plain porcelain. And that will be the very time that the bathroom is empty so that you can’t even follow another innocent handwasher’s lead. What do you mean the basin has a sensor?

Then there are those things in life you want to do by choice. That’s conscious, well informed choice and not by default or out of habit. This is where questioning comes in, a necessary link in the chain of progress and change.

And for most of us middle age is a time when questioning comes to the fore as we start challenging the assumptions which have determined the direction of our lives up to this point. To me, this is a good thing, although the process can be quite unsettling at least until we have replaced those of the old set of assumptions that no longer serve us with a new set and the way forward becomes clearer.

If you are a parent or have been exposed to young children of about 4 years of age, you probably will remember that (mostly) wonderful stage when said child or children start every sentence with “why” or similar.

You may have heard or received some of these classics:

If ghosts can walk around, and go through doors, why don’t they fall through the floor?

Why do cats have 9 lives?

Was everything in black and white in the olden days?

By asking these questions children start to expand their worlds and test the assumptions they hold as a result of mommy and daddy having taught them what to assume. It’s a sign that they are thinking, processing and growing.

As adults, we should continue to question and grow. Whilst the pace of growth is not as high as in children, continue to grow we must, especially if our lives have gotten to the point where we do most things out of habit. How many times have you heard or said “I wish I had done this sooner”? If you don’t question, you will never get to why you do something and you will never be able to change it.

Thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behaviours. We need to question not only the thoughts that lead us to habitual behaviour but also understand what is the payback we receive from these behaviours. If being comfortable is the payback, then that’s absolutely fine as long as it is a conscious choice.

Many of the assumptions that have worked for me to date, no longer hold true. I am in the midst of questioning a majority of them and I do so without guilt. The weight of others’ expectation no longer prevents me from questioning. I may not have all the answers, in fact I may never have any. But at least I have thought and questioned.

I am, therefore I question.

Today I give myself permission to question.

What’s the funniest question from a child you have aver heard? Do you ever have to think about using a tap? Have you ever questioned a critical assumption?

Today I Give Myself Permission to Embrace Originality #atozchallenge

We are all born an original, each leaving behind the broken mould of our birth. However, as most of us grow and travel through our teenage years we start to see that originality is perhaps the harder road to hoe, at least for a child, and the drive to fit in overtakes us. We then move onto our adult years carrying that need to fit in. This time though the stakes may be a little higher, with a promotion, bank loan, long-term relationship or a business opportunity at stake.

For some brave souls who turn their noses at societal pressure, the original child becomes the highly original, memorable and successful adult. The one that you secretly now admire and envy for having the courage to march to the beat of his or her own drummer. Rhetoric abounds, but in my experience the corporate world does not value originality or if it does, it is confined to originality in ideas and not in respect of individual attributes.

Dark suits, business shirts and black pumps have been my business wardrobe staples for the past two decades. But a look a little closely and you will see a few of my salutes to originality.

Let me start by saying I was born without the accessorizing gene. Really, I am accessory challenged. I’d love to be able to tell you that I solved my originality conundrum with funky jewellery, fantastically memorable earrings, unique handbags and sexy scarves. However that would be misleading and probably a little boring.

In the early nineties when I first stated work, original males wore funky ties to work. How I loved those ties filled with amusing cartoon characters, Snoopy was a favourite. Sometimes, the guys actually engaged in an originality double act by also wearing funky character or slogan socks.Perhaps they only wore them out of deference to the tastes and gift giving activities their spouses, but whatever the reason they brightened my day.

Remember these? Guys had it easy in the originality stakes.

I clearly couldn’t get away with either, so my ode to originality came in the form of the Swatch.

The Swatch is a wonderful invention of Swiss ingenuity, not only that, it actually tells time! Love them, the more colourful the better. I’ve owned at least one Swatch for the past twenty years. A splash of colour under the dark suits and a small window into my personality. I wonder what our choice of watch says about us? Over the years, I have received many positive remarks about my choice of watch, not only for the colour but also for the kooky designs. Rainbows, fish, falling numbers, stars and moons I have had them all.

English: Swatch Flik Flak Fifa World Cup Spain Edition (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

More recently, my originality push has extended to the Converse shoe. I purchased my first pair a couple of weeks ago and have since worn them to work. I am told they are very me – a pair of purple high tops with small white flowers over them. Love the funk factor and the surprise on people’s faces when they see them on my feet. Didn’t expect that, did you? Sweeeeeee!

Not mine, but rates high on the originality factor

As time marches on, the need to conform is waning and it is so liberating. I plan to continue to celebrate originality in others and embrace it in myself. Middle age is a great time to try the new and experiment with identity and it is full of possibilities. It is probably no coincidence that a lot of women this age obtain a tattoo, a permanent sign of originality. Whilst I’m not tempted by tattoos for my own body, I applaud those who decide to express their originality and individuality in that way.

Fortune favours the brave and the original.

What do you do to embrace your originality?

Today I give myself permission to embrace originality.

Today I Give Myself Permission to Listen #atozchallenge

We spend our lives believing we have to talk to impress people. We spend more of our lives thinking about what to say next even if what comes out of our mouths is an emotional reaction to what we just heard.

By doing so we are missing out on the best that life has to offer. For at middle age, I have learned to appreciate the cues that the world sends me. Cues come to us in a whole lot of ways and we use a variety of senses to pick up on them. Listening and seeing are obviously two of the most important. The third tool that is generally needed is intuition. However, if we are always talking, trying to get our own point of view across we are less likely to pick up on these cues and more likely to miss opportunities.

The same can be said if we are constantly looking inward and fail to consider our relationships and the needs of others.

To listen well and often, takes wisdom as Oliver Wendell Holmes alluded to in this wonderful quote:

To pickup on cues, it is not enough to be knowledgable it is also necessary to be wise. And more often than not, it is necessary to still the rehearsal of our own impending performance in our head.

Listening to others is the first requirement of understanding. There is no better compliment you can pay someone in this day and age than to give them the benefit of your full attention. It’s part of the reason that therapy and counselling thrives, sometimes all that is needed is to feel that one has been heard. Therapists, counsellors and best friends know that validation can only come from within and by active listening and strategic questioning they will lead you to find your own answers and that validation. I think the same philosophy applies in a marriage. The feeling that you are listened to by your spouse is fundamental to relationship longevity.

I will admit to being an expressive. Never shy about coming forward in a business meeting or in public speaking, it has served me relatively well to date. But I can now see bigger value in just sitting back and listening more often than speaking. This insight has led me to see that more often than not, it’s the same people always doing the talking and therefore the opportunity for new ideas and progressive input is unnecessarily limited. A great leader knows how to listen and to empower even the wall flowers in the team to share their ideas. It is no different in social circles. Sadly, it doesn’t happen too often, probably because we tend to equate talking with power or more importantly silence with weakness. Neither is actually the case.

I have also found that listening has another dimension, that of listening to yourself. We all need to strategize about the decisions that need to be made in our own lives. And we need the physical and head space to do this. We need to stop listening to the noise of business (laundry, cooking, cleaning, car maintenance etc) once in a while and focus on the strategic issues that will affect the bigger direction of our lives. Busy will get you through the next day or week, but strategic will determine the road ahead and create the platform for your busyness. We cannot work out life goals, priorities and identities unless we give ourselves permission to listen to our heads, our hearts and work out the questions we need to ask ourselves. At least I can’t. I need to stop my external talking and find the space to process all the inputs and self-dialogue.

So space to listen and process is not a luxury it is a necessity and I have given myself permission to create it.

Listening is not a weakness. We will not be measured by the number of words we speak, but the impact of them. Blogging is a case in point.

Today I give myself permission to listen.

Raising the Curtain

A look at life at the crossroads in preparation of the second act…because life does not come with signage

Tag Archives: today

Today I Give Myself Permission to Appreciate Whimsy #atozchallenge

What’s life without whimsy?

Today I Give Myself Permission to be Vulnerable #atozchallenge